When Silence is Louder Than Justice: Sexual Assault, Sports, and the Failure to Protect Women

Let’s talk about the epidemic nobody seems to be stopping: the tidal wave of sexual harassment and assault headlines we’re drowning in daily. You can’t scroll through a single feed—social media, Google News, Yahoo—without being smacked in the face with another story of a woman being assaulted, dismissed, or silenced.

And who’s leading this disgusting parade lately? Overpaid professional athletes—men who are idolized, glamorized, and far too often protected. From NFL players throwing fists at ex-girlfriends like it’s part of their training regimen, to NHL players accused of sexual assault within their own circles—it’s as if their fame comes with a free “get out of consequences” card.

Let’s be real. When you’re a young woman trying to survive that kind of trauma, the last thing you need is to see another story of a powerful man getting a slap on the wrist while the victim is tossed to the curb. Imagine the courage it takes to speak up—only to watch a league, a team, and even peers shrug it off or worse, blame you for ruining his career. What about her life?

We tell women to report. We tell them they’ll be supported. But then we hand the accused a press team, a second chance, and a jersey like nothing happened. Meanwhile, survivors get media scrutiny, death threats, and lifelong trauma.

I know this all too well. I worked in law enforcement. Victims are told they’ll have protection—“Speak up, we’ll protect you.” If you believe that, I have some beachfront property for sale in Nevada! Realistically, the police cannot protect you; they can’t be with you 24/7. Hell, most of the time they can’t get to you during an assault in time! I understand the fear and why women don’t want to speak up. Are the cops going to sit in your house all day and night with you? NO!

This isn’t about cancel culture. It’s about consequence culture. It’s about demanding better—from leagues, from teammates, from fans, from the justice system.

Because if we don’t start holding people accountable, we are telling every woman watching, every survivor hiding, and every predator lurking… that violence is negotiable when you’re famous enough.

Enough. Is. Enough.

Key Statistics:

Prevalence: Every 68 seconds, an American is sexually assaulted. Reporting Rates: Only about 25% of sexual assaults are reported to the police.

https://rainn.org/statistics?utm_source=chatgpt.com

Legal Outcomes: Out of every 1,000 perpetrators, only 25 will end up in prison.

https://www.nsvrc.org/statistics?utm_source=chatgpt.com

Recent Incidents:

Isaiah Bond: NFL draft prospect Isaiah Bond has been accused of sexual assault. He has filed a defamation lawsuit against the accuser, claiming the encounter was consensual.

https://www.reuters.com/sports/lawyers-nfl-draft-prospect-isaiah-bond-file-lawsuit-against-woman-2025-04-16/?utm_source=chatgpt.com

Artemi Panarin: New York Rangers forward Artemi Panarin settled sexual assault claims made by a former team employee. The incident was not reported to the police, and the NHL has not confirmed any disciplinary actions.

https://people.com/nhl-star-artemi-panarin-accused-sexual-assault-rangers-employee-settled-lawsuit-report-11717176?utm_source=chatgpt.com

Hockey Canada Scandal: Five players, including current NHL athletes, were charged with sexual assault related to an incident during the 2018 IIHF World Junior Championship.

https://www.nhl.com/news/mcleod-foote-hart-dube-formenton-charged-with-sexual-assault?utm_source=chatgpt.com

Support Resources:

If you or someone you know has been affected by sexual assault, please reach out to:

RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network): Call 800-656-HOPE (4673) or visit rainn.org for confidential support.

New World, No Grit?

Owning my own bar and restaurant has opened my eyes to a lot of things I used to take for granted.

Back in the day, when I clocked in as a bartender, the first thing I’d do? Check my inventory. What’s stocked, what’s running low? End of every shift, I’d clean, restock, and leave a detailed list of beers and liquors that needed attention. That was just standard. No one had to ask.

Now that I own the place? Half the staff strolls in like it’s their living room. No sense of urgency, no instinct to go above and beyond. Just clock in, stay in their lane, and peace out.

Did we lose something from the ’90s to now? Where’s the grit? The gusto? The pride in being a grinder? Where’s that “I’m here to crush it and make this place better” energy?

I’m not talking about working yourself to the bone, I’m talking about caring. About showing up with heart, hustle, and some damn initiative and not your own personal agenda?

It’s not that hard: look around, anticipate, and take action. That’s how you grow. That’s how you win.

But in today’s new world of workers, that mindset feels like a dying art.

And I’ll be real, I just don’t get it.

So here’s the question: Can we fix it? Is there hope?

Are there still people out there who want it, who want to learn, level up, and build something better? Are there people who believe in showing up on time, stepping up, and actually giving a damn?

Because if you’re one of them, one of the few left who takes pride in showing up and showing out, then I’m looking for you.

We used to chase shifts. Now I’m chasing people to do the shift.

If you want a gold star for doing the bare minimum, you’re in the wrong place!

Bad Luck or Bad Business?

Lately, we’ve been knee deep in what I can only describe as a streak of epic bad luck, or maybe it’s just plain bad business. Either way, the universe has been testing our patience, one broken product and clueless company at a time.

Let’s start with Vizio.

We bought a brand new TV. Two months in? Dead. Just gone. So, we reach out to Vizio, who kindly send out a repairman. He shows up, scratches his head, pokes around a bit, and then shrugs, completely stumped. No fix.

Next step? Vizio asks for photos of the broken TV so they can send a replacement. Fine. We do it. They send a new TV. We unpack it, set it up, plug it in…

And surprise! The new TV doesn’t work either.

So we call Vizio again and start the whole dance over. This time, they say another replacement is coming. Weeks pass—nothing shows up. I check the tracking… canceled. Why? Because they said they didn’t receive photos of the TV powered on.

Pause for dramatic effect.

How do I take a photo of a screen that won’t power on? I sent pictures. I explained it in detail—multiple times. Two days later, they call again asking for (you guessed it) photos of the TV turned on. Seriously, what the actual fuck?

How many times can I explain:

IT. DOES. NOT. TURN. ON.

It’s like talking to a wall. A wall that’s wearing a headset and reading from a script.

Now let’s talk about Bob’s Discount Furniture.

We bought a chaise sleeper couch a while back. Our dog decided to go full beast mode on the sleeper part and tore it up. No problem, right? We call Bob’s to see if we can just buy the pop-up sleeper portion. They say yes. We order it. We wait.

Delivery day comes, and the guys show up… with the wrong part. Instead of the sleeper section, we get a pop-up storage section. Okay, mistakes happen. We call Bob’s again. They promise to fix it.

Second delivery comes—same mistake. Another storage section.

We’re now on round three, back on hold with Bob’s, only to be told that we can’t buy just the sleeper part anymore. According to them, it’s connected to an arm section. Which is hilarious, because the sleeper piece on our couch? 100% not attached to either arm. I’ve sent pictures, descriptions—everything short of a carrier pigeon.

So what is it?

Is this just a run of bad luck? Or is it a slow death by customer service incompetence?

Honestly, I’m leaning toward the latter. The number of hoops we’ve jumped through just to get basic issues resolved is exhausting. But after the third, fourth, fifth time this kind of thing happens, you start to wonder:

Is this bad luck following us around like a shadow?

Or is the world just overloaded with companies who don’t give a damn?

Either way, one thing’s for sure:

Bad shit really does happen to good people.

New policy: If your company can’t make it right, I’m done doing business with you. Period.

But here’s the twist—I’m also done wasting my time trying to get rid of your broken, busted, useless products.

Instead?

I’m grabbing the scissors, saws or whatever is needed.

Cutting that crap into tiny, satisfying little pieces.

Boxing it up.

And sending it straight to your corporate headquarters with a note that says:

“Here’s your customer service in physical form. Enjoy.”

Because if you can’t fix it, you can damn well keep it.

First Class to the Final Frontier: But Not for Us

So, Blue Origin launched another shiny spacecraft recently, and of course, it was stacked with celebrities and the uber-wealthy. You’d think they were boarding the latest luxury cruise, not rocketing into orbit. And honestly? It got me thinking…

If space travel ever does become mainstream (and that’s a big “if”), you can bet your last working-class dollar it’s not going to be for people like you and me. It’ll be the same crew we see everywhere, actors, moguls, corrupt politicians, and the friends of the “guy who owns the launchpad.”

It’s like one of those old-school sci-fi flicks where Earth’s circling the drain, and surprise surprise, the escape shuttles are preloaded with the top 1%, a few sketchy government officials, and the occasional dirty cop with a golden ticket. Meanwhile, the rest of us? We’re left holding the bag and roasting marshmallows over the fallout.

But hey, silver lining: I probably won’t be alive to see it! (Small wins, right?)

Still, it’s hard not to laugh at the irony. We dream about the future being this great equalizer. Clean slates, new beginnings, “a better life for all.” But in reality? The future’s just a new zip code for the same elite crowd. Same system. Same BS. Just in zero gravity.

So unless you’re besties with the CEO of a space company, related to a defense contractor, or can casually Venmo a billion dollars, don’t hold your breath for that seat on the rocket.

The rest of us? We’ll be stuck here, clocking in and out, praying our insurance covers that next doctor visit, and maybe watching the launch on a cracked iPhone screen from a folding chair in the backyard.

The future may be on Mars…

But it sure as hell ain’t for the middle class.

Favorite Ristorante

What is your favorite restaurant?

Let me take you back to a little gem tucked away at 123 Mulberry Street in Little Italy, NYC, La Mela Ristorante. This place isn’t just a restaurant, it’s an experience, and for me, it’s hands-down my all-time favorite.

I first stumbled upon La Mela back in college. Weekend trips to the city were frequent (and wild), but New Year’s Eve 1995 stands out. That year, my date and I, along with two friends, wandered into this unassuming spot for dinner—and left forever changed.

Back then, there were no menus, at least I don’t remember a menu. The server simply started the night by dropping a bottle of red and a bottle of white on the table. The feast began immediately. (They do have menus now, but honestly—skip ’em.)

Pro tip: Come hungry and order the Cinque Corsi—the five-course meal.

They don’t waste time. Food starts coming out fast. First, a beautiful caprese salad, followed by an antipasti platter, then a giant family-style pasta dish. And just when you think you’ve hit the wall, the meat tray arrives, and it’s glorious. After that? A killer dessert that seals the deal.

As for the wine, you’re only charged if you open it. Want to try both the red and the white? Pop them open. No judgment.

To date, I’ve been to La Mela twelve times, and each visit has been as fantastic as the first. The vibe is always electric. There’s usually a musician weaving through the tables, playing all kinds of instruments and getting everyone to sing along. It’s the kind of place where strangers become family by the end of the night. If you’re lucky, you’ll get a live Dominic The Donkey song along!

If I have one gripe, it’s this: La Mela is in NYC. I love the restaurant, but I hate traveling to the city. Still—for La Mela? I’ll suffer the traffic, crowds, and parking nightmares every damn time.

Busted Back, Broken System: How WV PEIA Turned My Medical Emergency Into a Bureaucratic Nightmare

Imagine living with a herniated disc, two annular tears, nerve pain that shoots down your leg like fire, and a foot so numb it might as well not exist. Now imagine being told the surgery you need won’t be covered—not because it’s unnecessary, not because the doctor isn’t qualified, but because the treatment is 40 minutes away in a different state.

When your spine breaks down, you expect your insurance to step up. Instead, PEIA stepped aside and left me hanging—literally.

Welcome to my life with WV PEIA insurance.

I didn’t twist my ankle or pull a muscle. I’ve got a herniated disc at L4-L5, a bulging disc at L3-L4 with desiccation (that means the disc is drying out and crumbling), and two annular tears. The nerves in my lower back are so compressed I get numbness and burning sensations down my right leg. My foot? Useless. I can barely walk. Work? Out of the question. Exercise? Forget it.

The pain is constant. The frustration? Even worse.

I Did Everything Right—and Still Got Denied

I followed the rules.

I did physical therapy—even when it made things worse.

Multiple times, the disc shifted during PT and left me stuck on the table for hours, unable to move.

I tried cortisone injections. Nothing helped.

Eventually, the doctors ordered an MRI.

But instead of imaging my lumbar spine, where the pain actually was, they ordered an MRI of my thoracic spine—the wrong body part.

When I flagged the mistake, the insurance company told me I’d be responsible for the bill unless the doctor admitted fault. Spoiler alert: he didn’t.

Insert failed treatment here.

Hope in Pittsburgh—Then, a Kick in the Gut

I finally found a specialist in Pittsburgh—just 40 minutes from my home in West Virginia. A real doctor. One who listened, ordered the correct MRI, and confirmed what I already knew: I needed surgery.

A couple nerve block injections got me through the worst of the days, but we were finally at the step that could actually fix me.

And that’s when PEIA dropped the hammer.

They told me I’d be responsible for $85,000 of the surgery costs.

Why?

Because even though the doctor is in-network, he’s out-of-state.

And apparently, that’s all it takes for PEIA to slash your coverage and pretend your deductible doesn’t exist.

So not only would they cover less, but they refused to apply anything I’d already paid toward my deductible—because it wasn’t in West Virginia.

I genuinely believe that might be illegal. And I intend to find out.

The Appeal Games: Rules Followed, Denied Anyway

I appealed. The hospital appealed. We met every criteria:

Proximity: My specialist is 40 minutes away. The PEIA-recommended providers? 2+ hours. Failed Local Treatment: My previous doctor ordered the wrong MRI, and all treatment attempts failed. Established Relationship: I’d been working with my Pittsburgh doctor for months. He was recommended by someone I trust.

All of it? Denied.

So we appealed again.

And were denied again.

Meanwhile, PEIA starts advertising a new perk—if you live in southern WV, you can now go to Cincinnati, Ohio for care.

That’s even farther than Pittsburgh for many people!

But if you’re in the northern panhandle, like me? You’re not allowed to go 30–45 minutes across the state line for excellent care.

Make it make sense. You can’t. Because it doesn’t.

The Truth About PEIA

Let’s call it what it is: garbage insurance.

PEIA isn’t designed to help patients—it’s designed to save money by denying care.

They put up red tape, hide behind technicalities, and leave patients like me in chronic pain, unable to work, and drowning in bills.

And I know I’m not the only one.

So here’s the deal:

If PEIA has denied your surgery…

If they’ve forced you to pay for their mistakes…

If they’ve told you “no” when you did everything right…

I want to hear your story.

Send it to me. Comment. Share this post. Whatever it takes.

It’s time to hold this system accountable. Because no one should have to fight this hard just to get their life back.

Mislead America: The Burger Betrayal

“When you order a meal and get a crime scene.”

Let’s talk about the Great American Lie. I’m talking about the burger commercials, the ones with the slow-mo meat sizzle, the perky lettuce waterfall, and the cheese that melts like it just got back from a yoga retreat at the hot springs!

You know the one.

It’s 10 p.m., you’re hangry, vulnerable, maybe a little tipsy. That commercial hits you like a siren song. “Come to us,” it whispers. “We’re juicy. We’re perfect. We’re stacked taller than your dreams and twice as satisfying.”

And then you pull up to the drive-thru window.

Reality hits you like a raccoon in a tumble dryer.

You open the bag and there it is.

Your “gourmet artisan burger” looks like it lost a bar fight.

The bun is smashed like someone curb-stomped it.

The cheese is clinging on like your last relationship barely melted. And the lettuce? It’s not crisp, it’s a wet disappointment.

You got catfished by a sandwich.

“But wait, there’s more!”

It’s not just the food. It’s the fake reviews.

You check the app. “4.9 stars!”

Must be good, right?

Wrong. Half the reviews are written by bots, interns, or Karen’s cousin Chad who got a free milkshake to say “Best burger ever!”

(Chad also thinks Olive Garden is “exotic cuisine,” so we’re not trusting Chad.)

The Real Crime?

We let it happen.

Big corporations bank on the fact that we’re tired, distracted, and too hungry to fight back. They’ve turned Photoshop into a marketing weapon and false promises into an art form. They know we’ll be too embarrassed to return a burger that looks like it fell down a flight of stairs.

Ad Burger: 5 stars for visual seduction.

Real Burger: 1 star for a sad, lonely pickle.

https://basilssportsbar.com

Where you’ll never get a disappointed burger!!

Big Tech’s Bait & Switch: Welcome to the Algorithm Trap

You think you’re searching for the best burger in your area. Nah, friend. You’re searching for who paid the most to be seen first.

Google doesn’t love you, it loves your wallet.

Amazon doesn’t reward good products, it rewards sellers who game the system with shady SEO and bulk fake reviews from a farm in “Definitely Not A Real Country.”

You ever notice that the “top rated” item has thousands of glowing reviews, but the product’s name is something like:

“Magic Burger 9000 – Best for Man Kitchen BBQ USA”

That’s not a product name. That’s a hostage situation.

And the companies? They don’t care. Because Big Tech profits either way. Off your clicks, your complaints, and your confusion. The more time you spend sorting through garbage, the more money they make.

Reader’s Rant Section

Have you ever been catfished by a crispy chicken sandwich? If so, I want to know about it.

Tell me your betrayal story.

Upload pics, drop your rants, and I might feature it in next week’s Mislead America blog…

Exercise with Age

What’s the most fun way to exercise?

Lately, the only exercise I get is when I walk the dog. Dog walks are frequent and we average close to 30 miles a month. That’s typically a mile a day.

This is fun, for I get to spend time with my dog and my own thoughts. It’s not quite enough exercise that my mind and body require, however it is the only exercise I get.

Jiu jitsu is my ultimate fun way to exercise. I don’t believe you can get a workout nearly as good as an hour on the mats. Unfortunately, due to injury and work, I haven’t been able to make it to training in quite a while!

I’d say ultimately, the most fun way to exercise is to get out there and do it! Whatever the workout is, make it the best workout you can do. Your mental and physical health will thank you.

The Stem Cell Dream: Hope or Hype for the Working Class?

Let’s be real, everyone has a social media profile these days, right? So I know you’ve seen them: those polished ads flooding your feed, promising miracle stem cell treatments and revolutionary pain management solutions.

Maybe you’ve even stopped to watch one. Especially if, like me, you’re dealing with chronic pain, nagging injuries, or just the wear-and-tear of aging that makes simple stuff like standing up feel like a full-body workout.

I’m not talking about some minor ache here. I’ve got major issues that are seriously messing with my quality of life. There are days I struggle just to work. Getting up from a chair feels like scaling a mountain. And no, this isn’t me being dramatic, it’s just my reality right now.

So I started watching these stem cell success stories. One after another. All these people who look like they got their lives back, pain-free, happy, active. It’s hard not to think, “Could this be the answer for me?”

Then I hit the wall: I need surgery on my lower back. Insurance won’t touch it. And $85,000 out of pocket? Yeah, no. That’s not happening.

So again, stem cell treatment starts looking real good, until you dig a little deeper.

Turns out, most of these treatments aren’t even available in the U.S. You’ve got two main options: Mexico or Switzerland.

Switzerland at least throws in free round-trip airfare with your treatment. “Your healthcare shouldn’t be haunted by travel expenses,” they say. Cute slogan. Still crazy expensive.

Then there’s Mexico. If you’re lucky enough to live near San Diego, they’ll pick you up, shuttle you across the border, put you up in a hotel, prep you, and then take you to the clinic.

And the cost? Around $25,000. That’s not including travel, hotel, or any extras. Compare that to the $85k for surgery, and yeah, it’s cheaper—but still laughably out of reach for your average blue-collar American who’s just trying to pay rent and maybe eat something other than ramen this week.

Social media influencers, athletes, and celebs love to hype stem cell treatments. They’ll tell you how amazing it is. How it changed their life. But what they won’t tell you? It’s not made for people like us. It’s for the rich. The ones with platinum health insurance or money to burn.

Here are the two “big name” options if you’re curious:

• Swiss Medica

• Cellular Performance Institute

Both look legit. Both have glowing testimonials. Both are backed by people who don’t have to check their bank account before buying a burrito.

So where does that leave us? The regular folks. The ones in pain, working hard, and barely scraping by. What are we supposed to do?

I don’t have the answer yet—but I’m asking the questions. Loudly.

Owner’s Corner

A weekly blog of all the ups and downs in the restaurant industry

“Nobody Replaced the Damn Ketchup” AGAIN!

It’s always the simple shit that gets you.

Busy as hell, staff running around, and not one person notices the ketchup is empty. Not only empty… but just left there, waiting. With a brand-new box sitting right beside it. Untouched. Unopened. You know what sucks? A customer needing ketchup and having none ready to go!

OWNER’S CORNER

What Gets You Out of Bed Daily?

This rant could go a hundred different ways, but since this is my Owner’s Corner, I’m keeping it restaurant-real.

So, what gets you up in the morning?

Bills? Rent? Child support? Ego? Guilt? Passion?

Are you a hustler? Do you have grit?

Do you wake up thinking, “I’m gonna crush it today,” or do you drag your ass into work already halfway defeated?

Let me take you back for a second.

When I moved into my college dorm, I was a week early. I went to the office to get my student ID, and the lady asked, “Are you a mover or a shaker?”

I looked her dead in the eye and said, “I’m a Mover and a Shaker”

She was so confused, she just gave me the ID early.

I still have no idea what a “mover or shaker” actually is, but I’ve been both ever since.

Now ask yourself, what drives you?

Is it survival? Is it your kids? Is it pride in being your best self so they see a different kind of example growing up?

I don’t know what gets you going, but I’ll tell you what doesn’t:

Money

Because there’s a decent wage and plenty of shifts available, and somehow, the motivation still isn’t there.

In this industry, I’ve seen way too many people doing just enough.

Everyone wants more money, but very few want to earn it.

In 11 years of owning a restaurant, I’ve seen maybe five true hustlers. People who knew their job, owned their job, and didn’t need a babysitter to stay on track.

Managers and owners get hypnotized by resumes. But let me tell you—75% of them are garbage.

You can have a rock star resume and still be a trainwreck on the line.

Skill? That’s teachable.

But if you don’t want to learn? You’re dead weight.

And if you don’t even know what gets you out of bed in the morning, you’ll just stand around watching others do the work. You’ll offer help too late, if at all. You’ll mutter the dreaded phrase:

“I don’t care.”

If I had a dollar for every time I heard that from an employee, I’d be retired on a beach somewhere.

But guess what?

“I don’t care” kills businesses.

So does inconsistency in the product.

Those two are the silent assassins of our industry.

And look, I know some people won’t want to hear this.

But this is my blog, my bar, and my Owner’s Corner. So… fuck it.

Take a good, hard look at yourself.

What motivates you? Why do you show up for work?

If you can’t answer that honestly, then why are you even working?

Managers and owners aren’t just looking for warm bodies.

We want people with grit, hustle, and drive.

The ones who show up early, stay a little late, and make sure everything runs right. Not just for themselves, but for the whole team.

And if money does motivate you? Cool.

Then here’s your roadmap to earning more:

RAISE-WORTHY CRITERIA

1. Consistency Over Time

• Show up on time, ready, with the right attitude.

• No drama, no ghosting, no vanishing mid-shift.

2. Performance & Work Ethic

• Handle your station like a pro, even under pressure.

• Don’t wait for direction—just handle your business.

• Keep the quality high, no matter how busy it gets.

3. Team Player Energy

• Help others without bitching about it.

• Keep the vibe positive, even in the weeds.

• Don’t stir the pot… unless it’s literal soup.

4. Guest Experience Rockstar

• Guests remember your name for the right reasons.

• You upsell naturally and turn complaints into compliments.

5. Loyalty & Longevity

• You’ve stuck around and shown you want to grow.

• You’re invested in the team—not just the paycheck.

6. Willingness to Learn

• You take feedback like a champ.

• You cross-train, learn new systems, and stay ahead of the curve.

Raises aren’t given just because your rent’s due or your car got repo’d.

They’re earned when you become someone your team can count on, that’s when you level up.

That’s when the business wants to invest in you.

You want a raise?

Be the person that makes the restaurant better.

Then watch what happens.