When “Not a Good Fit” Really Means “I Didn’t Want to Work”

Owning a business means hearing the same story on repeat.

“Why’d you leave your last job?”

“It wasn’t a good fit.” “The environment was toxic.” “Management wasn’t great.”

Funny how everyone worked in a nightmare… yet somehow those businesses are still open.

Meanwhile, I look around at my own place and watch my dad, my sister, and myself doing jobs that, anywhere else would be the employee’s responsibility. Cleaning. Stocking. Fixing. Resetting. Closing gaps. Picking up slack.

Not here though. Here, we just do it all.

Why? Because we bought into that dangerous little saying: “If you want it done right, do it yourself.”

We didn’t start this way. We trained. And trained again. We wrote memos. We made checklists.

We re-trained, re-explained, re-reminded. And what do we get?

A few people standing around chatting.

Scrolling phones.

Waiting to be told.

Waiting for someone else to care.

I suppose if we actually held people accountable, if we made everyone do their job, our place wouldn’t be “a good fit” either. Maybe it would suddenly become “toxic” too.

And here’s the uncomfortable truth:

This problem exists because we allow it. Not because we’re bad people. Not because we don’t care. But because somewhere along the way, we confused being understanding with being responsible for everything.

So now the real question isn’t about them. It’s this: How long can we sustain the long hours, the constant coverage, doing other people’s jobs and trying to run the business?

How long before burnout becomes the business model?

Only time will tell.

And right now… I’m not convinced it has good news.

Patriotism Without Blindfolds

The past several days, I’ve been paying close attention to the news….local, national, global. And what I’m seeing doesn’t sit right with me.

Let me be clear before anyone starts foaming at the mouth:

I’m 100% American. I vote, even though some days it feels more symbolic than impactful. I support our government, even when I don’t agree with its tactics. And I will defend this country against anyone, foreign or domestic, who seeks to do it harm.

That said… loving your country doesn’t mean pretending everything it does is noble.

What’s disturbing to me is this: it feels like the United States is always first through the door, bombs loaded, while the rest of the world watches from the sidelines. We’re constantly inserting ourselves into conflicts, storming into other countries, toppling leaders, “restoring order,” and somehow acting surprised when chaos follows.

Meanwhile, most major world powers aren’t openly policing the globe in the same way. Yes, there are ongoing global conflicts. Yes, terrorist organizations exist and deserve exactly zero sympathy. But it’s hard to ignore the pattern: the U.S. is always involved, always escalating, always paying the price later… financially, morally, and with blood.

And now, at home, we’re hearing rhetoric that’s just as unsettling. When governors start talking in ways that sound more like separation than cooperation, when the idea of activating the National Guard or cutting ties is even floated, it should terrify all of us. That language doesn’t lead to unity. It leads to fractures.

Here’s the part no one wants to say out loud: Politicians created this mess.

Decades of leadership…. presidents, governors, senators on both sides, have fueled distrust, division, and hatred while padding their own pockets. They’ve convinced us the enemy is our neighbor instead of the system that keeps them wealthy and untouchable.

Now we’re left with offices filled with dishonest, self-serving politicians. People so convinced they’re morally right that what citizens actually need gets buried under party loyalty and personal gain.

I’m not anti-war. I understand wars happen. I’m grateful to live in a country that is militarily superior. That strength has kept us safe more than once.

But I’m starting to believe many modern wars aren’t about defense, they’re about profit. Manufactured chaos that benefits politicians, defense contractors, and corporations, while everyday people pay the price. The “little people” fight. The powerful people cash checks.

This isn’t the 1800s anymore. Civil war isn’t an answer… it’s a fantasy fueled by anger and ignorance. A so-called governmental “cleanse” would only give us new faces playing the same corrupt game. Same incentives. Same outcomes.

So what’s the fix?

Inflation. Terrorism. Violent protests. Political hatred. Complete distrust in leadership.

There’s no single savior coming. No perfect candidate waiting in the wings. If we’re being honest, the last several commanders in chief, Republican, Democrat, Independent, have all failed in different ways. They argue nonstop, but agree on one thing: how to benefit themselves.

The truth is uncomfortable: You don’t fix a broken system by swapping out the faces running it.

You fix it by changing what the system rewards.

More accountability. More transparency. Less corporate influence. Fewer career politicians. Stronger local communities. Leadership that serves people instead of exploiting division.

I don’t hate America. I hate watching it be used.

And if that makes me unpatriotic in some people’s eyes, so be it. I’d argue real patriotism means caring enough to speak up… without blindfolds, without party loyalty, and without pretending everything is fine when it clearly isn’t.

The Importance of Taking (and Passing) the ASVAB — Even If You’re Not Joining the Military

The ASVAB, Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery, often gets dismissed as “that military test.” You know, the one you only take if you plan on wearing a uniform and waking up before the sun on purpose.

But let’s be honest, based on what many of us see daily in the civilian workforce, maybe more people should take it.

Because if you’ve ever watched someone struggle to determine which end of a screwdriver actually does the screwing or how to work a tv remote … this conversation is for you.

What the ASVAB Actually Measures (And Why That Matters)

Contrary to popular belief, the ASVAB isn’t asking you to memorize fighter jet schematics or identify enemy aircraft from 30,000 feet. It measures basic, functional life skills:

Arithmetic reasoning – The ability to do math without staring at the ceiling like the numbers betrayed you. Word knowledge & paragraph comprehension – Understanding written instructions. Yes, the entire sentence. Mechanical comprehension – How things work. Or at minimum, which end of the screwdriver you should be holding. General science & technical reasoning – The ability to learn new systems without needing a tutorial video… every time.

None of this is military-exclusive. It’s adult-exclusive.

The Service Industry Reality Check

The service industry doesn’t need more “hard workers.”

It needs thinkers.

Because working a shift isn’t just carrying plates or pouring drinks…. it’s:

Making change without short-circuiting. Reading a ticket correctly the first time. Understanding that “medium rare” and “medium well” are not interchangeable concepts. Troubleshooting equipment without immediately declaring, “It’s broken,” five seconds in.

And yet, here we are… watching people aggressively attack the buttons on a remote control like it owes them money.

The ASVAB highlights whether someone can: Process information. Recognize patterns. Solve problems under pressure. Learn without being spoon-fed every step.

Which is wild, because those are the exact skills required to survive a Friday night rush.

Taking the Test vs. Passing the Test

Taking the ASVAB means you showed up. Passing it means you demonstrated baseline competence, the ability to learn, adapt, and function without supervision every 12 seconds.

No one’s asking for genius-level scores. We’re just trying to confirm that:

You can follow directions. You can problem-solve. You won’t attempt to fix equipment by hitting it and hoping for the best. (Although… that does work sometimes. But still.)

Why This Should Matter to Civilians

We trust civilians, especially in service industries, to: Handle money. Operate equipment. Represent businesses. Interact with the public.

Yet we act shocked when basic reasoning skills are missing.

The ASVAB doesn’t judge intelligence, it reveals readiness. And readiness is everything.

The ASVAB shouldn’t be viewed as a military gatekeeper. It’s a reality check.

If a test designed to place people in submarines, aircraft, and high-risk environments values comprehension, reasoning, and mechanical understanding… maybe civilian workplaces should stop pretending those skills are optional.

Because confidence is great…. but knowing which end of the screwdriver to use is better.

What’s a Good Mindset to Approach the New Year?

Every January comes with pressure. Be better. Do more. Fix everything.

But maybe 2026 doesn’t need a complete overhaul, maybe it just needs a better mindset.

As we step into a new year, approaching life with positivity matters. Not blind optimism, not pretending everything is perfect, but choosing to believe in yourself, believe in humanity, and believe there is still good in people. Even when it feels harder than it should.

Patience is another place to start.

Be patient with life. Be patient with others. Most importantly, be patient with yourself. Growth doesn’t happen on a deadline, and healing isn’t linear. Take chances. Explore new ideas. Try new approaches to life without beating yourself up if you stumble along the way.

Sometimes, wisdom shows up when we least expect it.

“When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me. Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.”

— The Beatles

There’s something timeless about the idea of letting things be…. not giving up, not ignoring problems, but releasing the need to control everything all at once. Sometimes the healthiest mindset for a new year isn’t force or pressure, but acceptance and patience.

Compassion is where real change happens.

Actively listen without judgment. Offer help when you can. Show kindness even when your instinct tells you to shut down or pull away. And remember: kindness starts with yourself. When you forgive your own mistakes and acknowledge your own pain, empathy for others comes naturally.

Changing from within, for the sake of your own mental health, is the most powerful way to improve the world around you. When you’re healthier mentally and emotionally, you show up better for everyone else.

Sometimes, kindness isn’t grand or public.

It’s a phone call. A text message. Dropping off a meal for someone who’s struggling. These small gestures often mean more than we realize.

At the end of the day, it’s not about what others are or aren’t doing for you. It’s about how you choose to grow as a human being. Putting personal frustrations aside, choosing compassion over resentment, and showing up with intention.

If 2026 is about anything, let it be this:

Grow inward. Lead with kindness. And trust that small, consistent choices still matter.

Happy 2026.

I’ve never really been a “New Year’s resolutions” guy. I don’t love arbitrary deadlines or fake fresh starts wrapped in champagne and wishful thinking.

But this year feels different.

This year, I’m choosing to make healthier choices, not as a resolution, but as an act of survival. I want a life where my family and my friends still get me. Present. Functional. Here.

I took my chronic kidney disease seriously for almost a year. And then… I didn’t.

I got busy. I got lazy. I slipped back into old habits. Heavy habits. Unhealthy habits. The kind that quietly convince you that “later” is guaranteed.

It isn’t.

There are other layers too. The gym and jiu-jitsu, two things that keep me grounded, have been on hold thanks to neck and back injuries. No insurance means no easy fixes. Surgery without coverage feels like signing over a second mortgage, and that’s just not an option.

Mobility is everything to me. It’s tied directly to my mental health, my physical health, and honestly, my will to keep pushing forward.

As of today, January 1st, I am one day sober.

And that feels like a damn good place to start. Yeah, we’ve been here before… the addicts motto, right?

My kidney disease demands a better lifestyle, and that begins with cutting alcohol out of the equation completely. Next comes clean eating and fasting, something I know works for me. I used to do 20-hour fasts daily, with a 40-hour fast once a month. That routine brought me closer to my ideal weight and, more importantly, a clearer head and a happier place mentally.

The struggle will be real.

I work in a place where I’m surrounded by food….. food that absolutely does not appear on my nephrologist’s diet plan. Add to that the nonstop parade of sweets people generously bring in to share… and yeah, my discipline hasn’t always been stellar.

But I’ll do better.

Home has its own challenges. My family isn’t on a restrictive lifestyle diet, and they shouldn’t be. That’s on me, not them. I’ll eat when I need to eat, make better choices for myself, and stay out of the way of the foods my wife and kids enjoy.

One day at a time. That’s the goal.

Over the past few days, I’ve read and heard about several people passing away…. all my age. All seemingly living healthier lives than I have lately. It’s a reminder we never really know how much time we’re given. I can’t control the clock, but I can stop sprinting toward the finish line.

This isn’t a resolution. It’s a revelation.

Change is necessary. I know it. The people around me know it. But this is my responsibility, and I don’t expect anyone else to carry it for me.

Just know this, having water, coffee, or oatmeal doesn’t mean I can’t still laugh with you while you’re having a steak and a couple IPAs or bourbons.

Cheers to a new year.

And cheers to the uphill battle of resisting bad food, bad habits, and the lie that “I’ll start tomorrow.”

Tomorrow is today.

December 29, 1972

December 29, 1972 wasn’t loud.

No ticker-tape parades. No dramatic headlines screaming HISTORY HAS ARRIVED.

But make no mistake, this was a hinge moment.

Earlier that month, Apollo 17 supposedly “returned” to Earth, ending the Apollo program and marking what history books say was humanity’s final walk on the Moon. Whether it was one giant leap or just a very well-produced soundstage, the country wasted no time shifting its attention back to inflation, fuel prices, and economic anxiety.

That quiet realization settled in: we wouldn’t be back for decades.

And today, we’re told we may never be able to walk on the Moon again at all.

Culture Was Rewriting the Rules

1972 didn’t just nudge culture, it shoved it down the stairs.

The Godfather came out earlier that year and permanently altered filmmaking. Heroes weren’t clean anymore. They were complicated, ruthless, human. America fell in love with the anti-hero… which, in hindsight, tracks.

Meanwhile, The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, and David Bowie were tearing down and rebuilding music in real time. Sound, image, identity……all fair game. Rock wasn’t just music anymore; it was rebellion with a soundtrack.

The vibe had changed permanently. America Was Losing Its Innocence

By December 29, 1972, the Vietnam War was finally winding down, and the country was exhausted. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually.

This wasn’t the optimistic America of the early ’60s.

This was a nation that had learned hard lessons and wasn’t interested in fairy tales anymore.

And looming in the background? Watergate.

Nixon had just been re-elected in November…by a landslide, and yet by the end of December, questions were already bubbling up. Why him? Something felt off. Trust in leadership was cracking, even if people didn’t fully realize it yet.

A page wasn’t turned with a bang. It was turned quietly… and the tone was darker, sharper, more realistic.

Sports Were the Escape

While institutions were wobbling, sports delivered perfection and dominance.

The Miami Dolphins went 17–0, completing the only perfect season in NFL history.

The Oakland A’s won the World Series, beginning their swagger-heavy dynasty era.

When everything else felt uncertain, sports still gave people something pure to believe in.

And Then… There Was The Birth Of Me. The year of the Rat… and a Capricorn shared with a few other legends!

December 29 also happens to be the birthday of Jude Law, Jon Voight, and Ted Danson…. all wildly successful, wildly talented actors. Impressive resumes. Legendary careers.

But let’s be honest…

None of them compare to the baddest MF’er ever slapped onto a birthing table.

ME!

So here’s to December 29, 1972, a day the world changed its mind, America changed its tone, culture grew teeth, and I showed up ready to raise hell.

Happy 53rd to me.

Still standing. Still evolving. Still badass.

“Heroes get remembered, but legends never die” Babe Ruth

Journaling Towards Sanity

The importance of journaling.

Journaling has become a grounding routine in my life, one that brings clarity when my thoughts feel crowded and chaos when my emotions start yelling over each other. At its core, journaling is a powerful tool for mental clarity, emotional regulation, and self-discovery. It helps reduce stress, manage anxiety, strengthen memory, track goals, and uncover patterns in the way we think, feel, and behave…. showing patterns that directly influence our decisions and personal growth.

More than anything, journaling creates a private, judgment-free space to process emotions honestly. It allows you to identify triggers, work through challenges, and build a healthier relationship with your inner world. Over time, this practice fosters deeper self-awareness and emotional resilience. Two things we all need to navigate life without losing our damn minds.

The benefits of journaling don’t arrive all at once; they unfold with consistency. Stress softens. Awareness sharpens. Goals feel more attainable. And somewhere along the way, you begin to understand yourself better, not in a vague, inspirational-poster way, but in a real, actionable, I know why I do this now kind of way.

Boreditis: A Holiday Medical Emergency

There’s a little-known condition sweeping the nation every December.

It’s called Boreditis… a chronic inflammation of boredom.

My wife currently suffers from it.

She’s a school teacher, which means she went from structured chaos to Christmas break silence overnight. No bells. No lesson plans. No tiny humans asking if they can go to the bathroom every 11 minutes. No 6 – 7 to ponder!

Now?

She needs to be doing something.

Or going somewhere.

Preferably both. Immediately.

Boreditis symptoms include:

Pacing the house like a shark that smells productivity.. Asking “What are we doing today?” before coffee! Suggesting errands that no one asked for. Restlessness so powerful it affects everyone within a 10-foot radius.

Medical experts (me, a husband) recommend Boredicilin® as the primary treatment. Taken daily, it helps relieve the uncontrollable urge to reorganize, redecorate, or plan spontaneous outings just to feel alive.

Side effects may include:

Random road trips. Overuse of the word “productive”. Making plans for other people.

Until Christmas break ends, we’ll continue to manage symptoms with patience, humor, and the occasional outing to keep the peace.

If your household has a teacher on break… stay strong.

Boreditis is real.

And it spreads fast.

Deep in Thought, Sipping Coffee

Not all thinkers think the same.

And most problems in work, leadership, and life come from using the wrong thinking style at the wrong moment.

The goal isn’t to be one type of thinker.

The goal is to know your default and learn how to borrow from the others when it matters.

1. Creative Thinkers

Definition:

Creative thinkers generate ideas. They see possibilities where others see limits. They’re imaginative, intuitive, and often emotionally driven.

Strengths:

Big-picture vision • Innovation • Problem re-framing • Branding, storytelling, menu ideas, blog writing

Weaknesses:

Can lack follow-through • Easily bored by systems and structure • May ignore constraints (budgets, time, rules)

In the real world:

Creative thinkers start movements but don’t always finish projects.

This is me.

I’m the guy who sees what could be, not just what is.

2. Analytical Thinkers

Definition:

Analytical thinkers break things down logically. They rely on data, facts, and measurable outcomes.

Strengths:

Decision accuracy • Financial analysis • Risk assessment • Strategic planning

Weaknesses:

Can overthink • Slower decision-making • May struggle with ambiguity

In the real world:

These people keep businesses profitable, but sometimes miss the human or emotional factors behind decisions.

3. Critical Thinkers

Definition:

Critical thinkers evaluate ideas objectively. They question assumptions, identify flaws, and assess consequences.

Strengths:

Strong judgment • Problem detection • Ethical reasoning • Crisis management

Weaknesses:

Can come off as negative or cynical • May stall creativity • Risk of analysis paralysis

In the real world:

Critical thinkers prevent disasters but rarely start revolutions.

4. Conceptual vs. Literal Thinkers

Let’s split this cleanly.

Conceptual Thinkers

Definition:

They think in themes, patterns, and abstract connections.

Strengths:

Vision • Strategy • Long-term planning

Weaknesses:

May skip details • Communication gaps with literal thinkers

Literal Thinkers

Definition:

They think in concrete terms—what’s said, what’s written, what’s immediately actionable.

Strengths:

Clarity • Execution • Rule-following • Consistency

Weaknesses:

Struggle with ambiguity • Less adaptable to change

In the real world:

Conceptual thinkers design the map.

Literal thinkers drive the truck.

5. Systematic Thinkers

Definition:

Systematic thinkers build processes. They love structure, order, and repeatability.

Strengths:

Efficiency • Scalability • Training systems • SOPs

Weaknesses:

Resistance to change • Can stifle creativity • May prioritize process over people

In the real world:

These thinkers turn chaos into consistency.

So… What Type of Thinker Am I?

I’m a Creative–Conceptual Thinker with flashes of Critical Thinking when things hit the fan.

Translation:

I’m a vision guy who becomes a truth guy under pressure.

I am not a natural systematic or analytical thinker, and that’s okay. Forcing myself into those roles 24/7 would drain my soul faster than a double shift on wing night.

What’s the Best Type of Thinker for Real-World Operations?

Here’s the truth:

The best operator is a Hybrid Thinker.

Creative enough to adapt.

Analytical enough to measure.

Critical enough to avoid disasters.

Systematic enough to scale.

The unicorn isn’t one person.

It’s a team or a leader who knows when to switch modes. How to Function Better at Work Based on Your Thinking Style

1. Stay in Your Creative Lane

Vision • Branding • Culture • Messaging • Big decisions

2. Borrow Systems (Don’t Build Them Alone)

Use checklists • Delegate SOPs • Lean on people who love structure

3. Pause Before Decisions

Ask yourself:

Is this a creative moment—or an operational one?

Do I need excitement or accuracy right now?

4. Respect Other Thinkers

Your worst conflict won’t be incompetence, it’ll be different thinking styles talking past each other.

There is no “best” thinker only the right thinker for the moment.

The real growth comes when you stop trying to change who you are…

…and start learning how to think on purpose.

What Is Depression?

Depression is defined as a serious mood disorder marked by persistent sadness and loss of interest. It affects how we think, feel, and function. Fatigue. Sleep issues. Appetite changes. Hopelessness. Brain fog. Difficulty concentrating.

Cool. Clinical. Accurate.

And also? That definition describes a hell of a lot of us.

But here’s the real question:

Can you actually identify what depresses you?

For me, depression looks like losing a health battle I didn’t ask to fight. Kidney disease has a way of quietly rearranging your life while pretending it’s no big deal.

Change… yeah, change is depressing. Losing porch nights because life shifted. Losing control of my business while still being responsible for it. Teaching, explaining, demonstrating expectations over and over… only to watch nothing change.

Depression is living somewhere you hate.

It’s having a child who wants to live with you, and being powerless to change his current situation.

It’s making money you can’t enjoy or use.

It’s worrying about a future that keeps getting closer instead of clearer.

It’s going to bed at 5 a.m. and waking up at 7 a.m. like your brain hates you.

To most people, these things sound small.

To me, they stack up. They linger. They haunt.

Self-diagnosed? Sure.

Still real? Absolutely.

So how do you cure depression?

How do you shut down the brain activity that manufactures darkness no amount of light seems to touch? Is the answer the very thing that depresses me, change? Maybe. But where? How? How do you change things you don’t control?

Do you stop caring?

Stop showing up?

Stop listening?

I don’t have those answers. What I do know is this: I make micro changes. Probably the wrong ones sometimes. But they’re the ones that let me survive my days.

For years, I preached that mental health is no joke. That we all need to do better. Somewhere along the way while trying to be strong, helpful, responsible…. I lost sight of my own happiness.

Now I move through life like an invisible observer. Watching everyone else unfold while I hover quietly on the outside.

Depression is all of this. And more.

I don’t have control of it , but I tug at the shirt tails of the things I can reach.

So what depresses you?

Do you feel in control… or like it’s slipping through your fingers too?

Some days the fight feels heavy. Overwhelming. Endless.

When that happens, don’t aim for perfection. Aim for tomorrow.

Make micro changes.

Find small peace.

Push just far enough to get there.

And then do it again.