Where Did Public Etiquette Go?

I was sitting in a doctor’s office the other day. Large waiting room. Nearly 30 empty seats. Three people total, including myself.

Two more people walked in. They saw me. They had to pass me to check in.

While waiting, a woman across the room dropped her papers. She was in a wheelchair, so I got up to help her, because that’s what decent humans do.

I turned around to return to my seat and… it was gone.

The two new arrivals had taken it.

Not because there was no other option.

Not because the room was full.

But because awareness and basic courtesy seem to be optional these days.

I didn’t say anything. I sat elsewhere. But I wanted to say, I wasn’t aware we were playing musical chairs!

But the woman I helped made eye contact with me, shook her head, and said everything without saying a word.

Public spaces used to come with unspoken rules…. awareness, patience, respect for others. Somewhere along the way, those rules were replaced with entitlement and tunnel vision.

Kindness shouldn’t cost you your seat.

And decency shouldn’t be this rare.

Intelligence, Common Sense, and the Lie of “Feels Like”

We can all agree on one universal truth:

There are very intelligent people in the world… and there are people who make you question how warning labels became necessary.

Now here’s the twist, high intelligence does not automatically come with good decision-making or even basic common sense. Some of the smartest people I’ve met couldn’t navigate a grocery store without permanent emotional damage.

There are ways to make yourself smarter…. reading, questioning, thinking critically, learning how things actually work. And then there are ways to slowly sabotage your own intelligence.

Which brings me to my annual winter rage-inducer: weather reports.

The Weather Channel. Weather apps.

Local forecasts delivered with the confidence of someone who has never been held accountable. Weather people are fascinating and should be studied. They are often wrong, always vague, and somehow completely immune to job insecurity. If I was wrong that often at my job, I’d be replaced by a cardboard cutout. (Wait, this can be re-visited later)

But the phrase that really sends me spiraling is this:

“It feels like 20 degrees.”

First of all, what does that even mean? If it feels like 20 degrees… then it’s cold. Congratulations. You’ve described cold.

But it is not 20 degrees. “Feels like” is not temperature. It’s a vibe, a cold one at that but not an actual temp!

Wind chill, humidity, cloud cover, these are real factors, yes. But they do not rewrite physics. Temperature is temperature. It’s measurable. It’s factual. It’s not based on how dramatic your face gets when you step outside.

Let’s take this nonsense back to science class for a second.

Water freezes at 32°F. Water boils at 212°F. Not feels like 32. Not resembles 212. So if it “feels like” 32 degrees and your water isn’t freezing… maybe, just maybe, it’s because it’s not actually 32 degrees.

Wild concept, I know.

Imagine telling a scientist:

“Well, the water feels like it should be boiling.” Cool story. Still not boiling.

So why don’t we just do this instead: If it’s 20 degrees, say it’s 20 degrees. If wind chill makes it miserable, explain why it’s miserable, don’t rename reality.

Because when water is boiling, the temperature is 212 degrees.

It doesn’t feel like it. It is.

And confusing perception with fact is a great way to stay confidently wrong.

When “Not a Good Fit” Really Means “I Didn’t Want to Work”

Owning a business means hearing the same story on repeat.

“Why’d you leave your last job?”

“It wasn’t a good fit.” “The environment was toxic.” “Management wasn’t great.”

Funny how everyone worked in a nightmare… yet somehow those businesses are still open.

Meanwhile, I look around at my own place and watch my dad, my sister, and myself doing jobs that, anywhere else would be the employee’s responsibility. Cleaning. Stocking. Fixing. Resetting. Closing gaps. Picking up slack.

Not here though. Here, we just do it all.

Why? Because we bought into that dangerous little saying: “If you want it done right, do it yourself.”

We didn’t start this way. We trained. And trained again. We wrote memos. We made checklists.

We re-trained, re-explained, re-reminded. And what do we get?

A few people standing around chatting.

Scrolling phones.

Waiting to be told.

Waiting for someone else to care.

I suppose if we actually held people accountable, if we made everyone do their job, our place wouldn’t be “a good fit” either. Maybe it would suddenly become “toxic” too.

And here’s the uncomfortable truth:

This problem exists because we allow it. Not because we’re bad people. Not because we don’t care. But because somewhere along the way, we confused being understanding with being responsible for everything.

So now the real question isn’t about them. It’s this: How long can we sustain the long hours, the constant coverage, doing other people’s jobs and trying to run the business?

How long before burnout becomes the business model?

Only time will tell.

And right now… I’m not convinced it has good news.

The Types of “I Don’t Know” People

You’re not imagining things, there are categories. Like Pokémon, but more useless.

1. The Actual Liar

Knows the answer. Knows YOU know they know the answer. Still lies.

Because… drumroll… accountability feels like CrossFit to them. They would rather juggle chainsaws than say, “Yep, that was on me.”

2. The “OMG, WHAT HAPPENED??” Pretender

This one gives you the full wide-eyed innocent Bambi routine.

They treat basic instructions like you handed them the Dead Sea Scrolls in Aramaic.

You say something on Monday.

By Wednesday they’re like,

“Wait… you NEVER told me that.”

Oh honey… yes… yes I did. But your brain just said, “Nah, let’s not.”

3. The Excuse Generator 5000

These folks will excavate excuses from geological layers you didn’t know existed.

Instead of “I messed up,” you get:

“Well, I didn’t have the right pen.” “My horoscope said today wasn’t good for listening.” “The oven was humming in a weird way and it distracted me.”

Sir… ma’am… be for real.

“Are people really this dumb?”

Sometimes? Yes.

But most of the time?

No, they’re just emotional toddlers wrapped in adult skin suits. (it puts the lotion in the basket)

Here’s the playbook they’re running on:

Avoid responsibility – Avoid conflict – Avoid looking wrong – Protect ego – Pretend confusion so nobody can actually blame them

It’s like weaponized cluelessness.

And it’s exhausting.

Why It’s Everywhere

Because society has turned “being accountable” into “being attacked.”

People are WAY too fragile now. Like, dropped from a six inch curb fragile.

And in the workplace?

Forget it.

Half the population thinks admitting a mistake will open a trap door that drops them straight into unemployment hell. See I just lied… employees know you can’t fire them, we’re all too short handed for that shit!

So instead, they live in this delusional fantasy land where pretending not to know something magically erases the fact they absolutely knew it.

Your Reaction? Honestly? Necessary.

Confrontation isn’t rude.

Confrontation is clarity.

You’re not shaming people, you’re holding them to the standard of “Hey buddy… join the rest of us on Earth.”

Most people don’t confront because they:

Want to avoid drama – Want to be liked – Don’t want to escalate

But then the problem festers like that one dish in the sink nobody wants to clean.

You? You’re doing the Lord’s work.

Or whatever deity is in charge of common sense… probably some frazzled goddess covered in post-it notes. For me, we’d all turn into a pile of dust if waiting for a sign from above!

So what’s going on?

A combo of….. Fear of being wrong – Fear of responsibility – Bad habits – Low awareness – Ego issues – Social politeness culture, and yes… a dash of actual stupidity sprinkled in like everything but the bagel seasoning

You’re not crazy.

You’re observant.

And honestly? The world could use more people who call out the BS instead of letting it grow legs and breed.

When Everybody’s Here But Nobody’s All In

Today, if employees show up for a shift, owners call it a win. But winning the attendance lottery isn’t the same as having a crew that actually works.

Restaurants are short-handed everywhere, and that used to mean one thing: more money for the people who showed up ready to hustle. Now? “Short-handed” too often equals “one-dimensional” employees.

Example: no dishwasher tonight. A line cook jumps in to wash dishes, great… except now they’re unavailable to run the line. The kitchen stops being a machine and becomes a series of improvisations. ONE DIMENSIONAL.

If everyone understood teamwork, really understood “get-shit-done” and helped each other, the kitchen would hum. But I’ve watched us try to teach teamwork for more than a decade. I’m past “train more.” We’ve trained. We’ve written memos. We’ve spoken one-on-one. We’ve followed up. Some of these folks have been here 11 years and came from corporate gigs where micromanaging was normal operation. This is not ignorance.

So what is it? Defiance? Laziness? A refusal to care? I don’t know. What I do know is this: I can control me. I can control expectations and consequences. I can’t control someone else’s choices … but I can decide whether those choices keep a job.

This business will survive. We’ll be short for a season, we’ll hire, and we’ll rebuild standards. But there has to be accountability. We need to implement a demerit system: three documented failures to perform essential tasks and you’re out. No drama, no opinion, just standards, enforced.

If you care about your job, show it. Restock the line. Put the next shift in a better position than you found it. Teamwork isn’t a warm, fuzzy idea, it’s the difference between a smooth service and chaos at 7 p.m.

We can keep doing the same thing and expect different results. I’m not that hopeful, or insane. I’m that done. Time for consequences.

A Public Servant’s Promise: Integrity – Morality – Ethics

There’s something that’s been gnawing at me for a while.

A truth that too many people in positions of public trust seem to have forgotten.

When you choose a life of service, whether that’s as an EMT, firefighter, police officer, city worker, council member, or mayor, you don’t just take a job. You take an oath. You take on a responsibility that demands integrity, accountability, and humility.

You swear to serve the public. To serve people, not yourself.

And that oath doesn’t clock out when your shift ends. It doesn’t disappear when the uniform comes off or when you think no one’s watching. Because here’s the thing: someone’s always watching.

When you’re in uniform or behind the wheel of a city or state vehicle, you are a walking, breathing symbol of public trust. You’re not just you, you’re representing every single person who depends on that uniform to show up when they need help the most. That symbol should mean honor.

But lately, I’ve seen too many forgetting what that means.

Free meals “because of the badge”? No. That’s not a perk of the job…. that’s an ethical line being crossed.

Running personal errands in a city or state vehicle? Wrong again. Those vehicles aren’t status symbols. They’re tools, paid for by the very people you swore to serve.

When you start believing your title earns you special treatment, you’ve already lost sight of the meaning of service.

Service means showing up for your community, not exploiting your position in it.

It means leading by example, not taking advantage because you can.

It means remembering that respect isn’t something you’re automatically owed because of a uniform. It’s something you earn through consistent, honest, honorable actions….. especially when a community is rooting for you.

If you wear that badge, that patch, or that city logo, then wear it with pride, but also with purpose. Remember the oath. Remember the statement you swore to uphold.

Because the uniform doesn’t give you power, it gives you responsibility.

And your oath doesn’t expire just because you got comfortable.

The people you serve deserve better than entitlement disguised as pride.

So, to every public servant out there: Stand tall. Serve well.

And never forget…. your uniform is a promise, not a privilege.

Written by a guy who still believes integrity isn’t negotiable, no matter what title you wear.

Hold It for Me: The Lazy Entitlement of Modern Convenience

Remember when people used to go get things? You saw something you wanted, you got up, put on pants, drove somewhere, and made it happen. Now? We’ve got folks who see a post about an item for sale and say, “Can you bring it to me?” Like they’re ordering room service from the internet.

What creates this mindset? Somewhere between Amazon Prime and mobile ordering, we’ve conditioned people to believe effort is optional. Convenience has turned into expectation. And it’s not even about laziness anymore, it’s about entitlement.

It’s that quiet little voice that says, “Why should I go out of my way when someone else can do it for me?”

Here’s the thing though…. if you really wanted something, you’d go get it. You wouldn’t ask someone to hold it. You wouldn’t wait three days for someone to drop it off. You’d move. But that’s becoming rare, because we’re raising a culture that thinks “instant” is the same as “earned.”

So maybe the next time someone messages, “Can you deliver it to me?” I’ll reply with a simple, No!

Whatever this is, I don’t want to be a part of it. I like the part of society that still believes in showing up, shaking hands, and taking pride in doing things the hard way. Because at least that version of us still gives a damn.

Stop Judging, Start Living

The Villain in the Mirror

Nothing has changed. I’m still a nonbeliever…. in God, religion, all of it. What I do believe is that someone sat down, wrote a book called The Bible, and poured in some pretty solid advice.

But let’s be honest… it’s still a campfire story that millions of people decided to hitch their wagon to. And you know what? I get it. People need to believe in something.

Here’s the kicker though, if you’ve ever read the Bible, whether as a believer or just for curiosity’s sake, you’ve probably seen Matthew 7:1

“Do not judge, or you too shall be judged.”

Now, THAT’S a verse worth tattooing across society’s forehead. Before you bash someone, talk behind their back, or start some petty rumor… stop. Take a second to look in the mirror. And don’t just see the shiny version of yourself you want to believe in. Look hard enough to see the flaws, the shadows, the villain you don’t admit you are.

Because here’s the truth: if we spent half as much time lifting people up as we do tearing them down, we’d live in a completely different world. Better neighborhoods. Stronger communities. Happier humans.

And newsflash, different isn’t bad. People come from every walk of life. Different beliefs. Different styles. Different looks. Even identical twins aren’t carbon copies.

I’m not pretending I’m some influencer with millions of readers. Most of you won’t even see this. But if even one person does, and decides to stop judging and start helping, then the ripple begins. Positivity spreads the same way negativity does… but only if we let it.

So here’s my challenge: stop worrying about who doesn’t act like you, think like you, or live like you. That doesn’t give you the right to drag them down.

Be better. Be kinder. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll find you’re actually living a happier life.

Accountability: The Line Between Pretending and Being

Accountability isn’t complicated, it’s accepting responsibility for your actions, good or bad, and owning the consequences. Yet somehow, we live in a world where people want the credit without the responsibility. Do something good? Suddenly it’s plastered all over social media with your name in bold. Screw up? Silence. Excuses. Deflection and Redirection.

But accountability doesn’t work like that. You don’t get to cherry-pick when it applies. Every action, whether you’re a police officer, a doctor, a teacher, or an attorney carries weight. If people rely on you for safety, guidance, or trust, then you don’t get to live one way at work and another in private. That’s not integrity, that’s hypocrisy.

Here’s the thing: accountability is what separates the strong from the weak, the genuine from the fake. If you can’t handle being held to the same standards you demand of others, then stop pretending to be a “good person.” You’re not fooling anyone but yourself.

Be accountable. Be decent. Be the role model you claim to be. Because at the end of the day, accountability isn’t just a word…. it’s the mirror that never lies.

The Greatest Innovation Happens From Iteration

“The greatest innovation happens from iteration.” – Jesse Cole, Savannah Bananas

Jesse Cole didn’t reinvent baseball with one big idea. He did it by trying, failing, tweaking, and trying again, over and over, until the Savannah Bananas became the phenomenon they are today. And that’s a lesson that resonates far beyond the ballpark.

At Basil’s, it’s the same story. Nothing we do lands perfectly on the first try. Some of the best things on our menu were born from long nights in the kitchen, too much caffeine, and a few batches of wing sauce that should’ve been labeled “hazardous materials.” That soup recipe everyone raves about? It didn’t just happen…. it was stirred, tested, adjusted, and cursed at until it finally tasted like comfort in a bowl.

Failure Is the Seasoning of Success

We all love the idea of getting it right on the first swing, but truth is, success tastes a lot like failure, you just have to keep seasoning it until it works. Every burned batch, every half-baked idea, every “nope, not that one” gets us closer to the version that sticks.

But here’s the part nobody talks about: even the greatest recipe won’t succeed if your team isn’t bought in.

Teams Win, Not Individuals

The Savannah Bananas aren’t just Jesse Cole’s vision, they’re a whole team of players who believe in that vision enough to put on a show every single game. Same goes for Basil’s. I can spend hours perfecting sauces, writing menus, or tweaking specials, but if the people behind the bar, in the kitchen, and on the floor don’t share the dream, then the whole thing falls flat.

You can’t build lasting success without buy-in. Employees, just like players, have to believe in the direction, trust the playbook, and feel like they’re part of the bigger picture. Without that, success isn’t just harder…. it’s nearly impossible.

Iteration Never Ends

That’s the beautiful part: iteration isn’t a stage you finish, it’s the process itself. Whether it’s food, service, or team culture, we’re constantly reworking, improving, and adapting. Some days it feels like two steps forward, one step back. But as long as we keep moving, the dream keeps building.

The Bananas proved you can rewrite the rules of baseball. We’re proving every day at Basil’s that you can rewrite the rules of what a sports bar can be. It just takes iteration, belief, and a team willing to swing at every pitch, even the wild ones.

So yeah, the greatest innovation happens from iteration. And around here, that means late nights, bold flavors, and a crew that shows up ready to win together. The only attitude is a positive attitude and buy-in requires a real effort not lazy individualization.