Owning a business means hearing the same story on repeat.
“Why’d you leave your last job?”
“It wasn’t a good fit.” “The environment was toxic.” “Management wasn’t great.”
Funny how everyone worked in a nightmare… yet somehow those businesses are still open.
Meanwhile, I look around at my own place and watch my dad, my sister, and myself doing jobs that, anywhere else would be the employee’s responsibility. Cleaning. Stocking. Fixing. Resetting. Closing gaps. Picking up slack.
Not here though. Here, we just do it all.
Why? Because we bought into that dangerous little saying: “If you want it done right, do it yourself.”
We didn’t start this way. We trained. And trained again. We wrote memos. We made checklists.
We re-trained, re-explained, re-reminded. And what do we get?
A few people standing around chatting.
Scrolling phones.
Waiting to be told.
Waiting for someone else to care.
I suppose if we actually held people accountable, if we made everyone do their job, our place wouldn’t be “a good fit” either. Maybe it would suddenly become “toxic” too.
And here’s the uncomfortable truth:
This problem exists because we allow it. Not because we’re bad people. Not because we don’t care. But because somewhere along the way, we confused being understanding with being responsible for everything.
So now the real question isn’t about them. It’s this: How long can we sustain the long hours, the constant coverage, doing other people’s jobs and trying to run the business?
How long before burnout becomes the business model?
Only time will tell.
And right now… I’m not convinced it has good news.
What is something others do that sparks your admiration?
There are a few things people do that hit me right in the soft part of my heart…. the part I pretend I don’t have, but we all know is there.
1. Family-Oriented People
Whenever I see those families out at dinner, laughing, talking, kids half-behaving and half-wild, I can’t help but stop and watch for a moment. There’s something about that tight-knit family energy that sparks admiration in me. Maybe a little jealousy, sure, but mostly admiration.
It’s that classic, picture-perfect “white picket fence” vibe, not because it’s perfect, but because it’s together. And even if I’ll never have that exact version in my own life, I love seeing people who do. There’s beauty in the simplicity of showing up for each other.
2. Humble, Successful People
Then there are the quiet giants… the ones who’ve built something, achieved something, earned something… and still treat everyone with kindness. The “treat the janitor the same as the CEO” kind of people.
Those people have my full attention. They’re the kind of people who remind me the world doesn’t need more loud victories, it needs more quiet dignity. I try to model myself after them, and honestly? I treat people with respect pretty damn well. Sometimes better than I treat myself.
3. Focused and Disciplined People
And finally… the focused ones. The disciplined ones. The people who hold their goals like a compass and somehow balance work, family, life, stress, and dreams without dropping everything on the floor.
Watching someone stay committed, whether it’s to their career, their family, or their own personal growth is inspiring. It reminds me that staying locked in is a daily choice, not a personality trait.
Remember when people used to go get things? You saw something you wanted, you got up, put on pants, drove somewhere, and made it happen. Now? We’ve got folks who see a post about an item for sale and say, “Can you bring it to me?” Like they’re ordering room service from the internet.
What creates this mindset? Somewhere between Amazon Prime and mobile ordering, we’ve conditioned people to believe effort is optional. Convenience has turned into expectation. And it’s not even about laziness anymore, it’s about entitlement.
It’s that quiet little voice that says, “Why should I go out of my way when someone else can do it for me?”
Here’s the thing though…. if you really wanted something, you’d go get it. You wouldn’t ask someone to hold it. You wouldn’t wait three days for someone to drop it off. You’d move. But that’s becoming rare, because we’re raising a culture that thinks “instant” is the same as “earned.”
So maybe the next time someone messages, “Can you deliver it to me?” I’ll reply with a simple, No!
Whatever this is, I don’t want to be a part of it. I like the part of society that still believes in showing up, shaking hands, and taking pride in doing things the hard way. Because at least that version of us still gives a damn.
Nothing has changed. I’m still a nonbeliever…. in God, religion, all of it. What I do believe is that someone sat down, wrote a book called The Bible, and poured in some pretty solid advice.
But let’s be honest… it’s still a campfire story that millions of people decided to hitch their wagon to. And you know what? I get it. People need to believe in something.
Here’s the kicker though, if you’ve ever read the Bible, whether as a believer or just for curiosity’s sake, you’ve probably seen Matthew 7:1
“Do not judge, or you too shall be judged.”
Now, THAT’S a verse worth tattooing across society’s forehead. Before you bash someone, talk behind their back, or start some petty rumor… stop. Take a second to look in the mirror. And don’t just see the shiny version of yourself you want to believe in. Look hard enough to see the flaws, the shadows, the villain you don’t admit you are.
Because here’s the truth: if we spent half as much time lifting people up as we do tearing them down, we’d live in a completely different world. Better neighborhoods. Stronger communities. Happier humans.
And newsflash, different isn’t bad. People come from every walk of life. Different beliefs. Different styles. Different looks. Even identical twins aren’t carbon copies.
I’m not pretending I’m some influencer with millions of readers. Most of you won’t even see this. But if even one person does, and decides to stop judging and start helping, then the ripple begins. Positivity spreads the same way negativity does… but only if we let it.
So here’s my challenge: stop worrying about who doesn’t act like you, think like you, or live like you. That doesn’t give you the right to drag them down.
Be better. Be kinder. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll find you’re actually living a happier life.
Accountability isn’t complicated, it’s accepting responsibility for your actions, good or bad, and owning the consequences. Yet somehow, we live in a world where people want the credit without the responsibility. Do something good? Suddenly it’s plastered all over social media with your name in bold. Screw up? Silence. Excuses. Deflection and Redirection.
But accountability doesn’t work like that. You don’t get to cherry-pick when it applies. Every action, whether you’re a police officer, a doctor, a teacher, or an attorney carries weight. If people rely on you for safety, guidance, or trust, then you don’t get to live one way at work and another in private. That’s not integrity, that’s hypocrisy.
Here’s the thing: accountability is what separates the strong from the weak, the genuine from the fake. If you can’t handle being held to the same standards you demand of others, then stop pretending to be a “good person.” You’re not fooling anyone but yourself.
Be accountable. Be decent. Be the role model you claim to be. Because at the end of the day, accountability isn’t just a word…. it’s the mirror that never lies.
Golf. A prestigious sport…. A gentleman’s game, if you will…
But let’s cut the crap, shall we?
Not all golfers are gentlemen. Hell, some of them wouldn’t recognize prestige if it hit them in the balls with a titanium driver.
Now, I’m not a golfer myself, never been seduced by the sweet call of the tee box or the overpriced polos that scream, “Look at me, I peaked in sales in 2007.”
But I’ve seen the species in the wild. And let me tell you: some of y’all are straight-up asshats in khakis.
Take today, for example.
A group of golfers swaggered into a local restaurant. Loud. Obnoxious. Drunker than a frat house on Thirsty Thursday…..probably halfway through their “18 holes, 18 beers” challenge.
A server, politely and professionally, asked them to move to the lounge area.
Did they listen? Of course not.
Because these clowns think being on a golf course gives them the same entitlement as a hedge fund manager with no prenup.
They ignored the staff, crumpled up the empty cans they brought in themselves (classy), and tossed them on the bar top like some sort of tribute to their own ego.
Translation: “Clean this up, peasant. I birdied on the back nine.”
Now, hold your fire, gentle readers.
I know plenty of golfers who are respectful, down-to-earth, and genuinely enjoy the game without being raging douche rockets.
This blog ain’t about them. This is about those guys. You know the ones.
The obnoxious, performative alpha bros who use the links like a stage to act out their washed-up glory days and imaginary stripper conquests.
These are the guys who use golf as an excuse to escape their wives, talk over bartenders, and pretend they’re important while bragging about a “hole-in-one” they took three mulligans to get.
Listen up, fellas:
The next time you suit up in your finest pink taco polo and fire up your ego for 18 holes of mediocre golf, try doing the world a favor:
Hydrate with some water between your Bud Light baptisms. Tip your servers like humans, not minions. Keep your war stories under 100 decibels and for the love of the green jacket, don’t treat public places like your damn rec room.
Nobody cares about your fairway fairy tales, your career in whatever, your miserable home life, or the crushed beer cans you leave like breadcrumbs for someone else to clean.
Wanna pretend to be somebody important?
Fine….. Just do it a little quieter, with a little less trash, and a whole lot more respect for the people around you.
Because in the end, you’re not impressing anyone.
You’re just another guy with a golf glove, a God complex, and a growing tab of poor behavior.
Watching the news this week, I saw extensive coverage of the California wildfires. Among the stories were several famous actors and musicians sharing their losses and asking for help. It made me wonder: unless there’s been major mismanagement of their funds, how does someone with their resources not have the means to rebuild?
Where’s the coverage for the countless regular, blue-collar people who’ve also lost everything?
I own a business, and back in 2017, we expanded with a $150,000 remodel. It wasn’t easy, but we made it work without going to other businesses or individuals to ask for donations. That’s why I struggle to understand when businesses seek monetary help for repairs, remodels, or upgrades.
The same goes for travel sports. My son played travel baseball for eight years. We traveled all over the East Coast, South, and Midwest, spending thousands of dollars on equipment, clothing, and hotels. It was a worthwhile investment that provided him with exposure and opportunities, but it wasn’t cheap. We made sacrifices to afford it, and while it wasn’t always easy, we never asked others for help.
I don’t understand the countless families who rely on donations or fundraisers to cover the costs of travel sports. If you can’t afford it, maybe it’s not the right fit. Unless there’s a significant issue like a health problem or an emergency, I struggle to see why asking for personal financial help is necessary.
For example, I need back surgery. Without insurance, the $90,000 price tag is completely out of reach for me. But instead of creating a GoFundMe or seeking donations, I’ve chosen to live with the pain and do the best I can. That’s just how I was raised, to find a way forward without burdening others, especially when I don’t know their struggles or financial situations.
Maybe it’s just me, hence the title, “Things I’ll Never Understand”, but I can’t imagine asking others for monetary help unless it’s an absolute necessity.
Work hard, buy what you need, and enjoy the occasional splurge when you can. Ask for help only when it’s truly needed. Otherwise, live within your means and make it work.
This post reflects my personal opinions and experiences. I understand that everyone’s circumstances are different, and I don’t intend to judge or criticize those who choose to seek help in ways that work for them. My perspective is shaped by my values and upbringing, and I respect that others may approach these situations differently.
As we age, birthdays often lose their magic and feel more like just another day. For me, at 52, gifts and well-wishes aren’t as important as something deeper: consistent respect and support for the choices I’ve made to prioritize my health and well-being.
A few years ago, I was diagnosed with stage 3 kidney disease. That diagnosis hit hard, and I made drastic changes to slow its progression. While those changes helped, my kidney disease is now affecting my heart, demanding an even stricter diet and greater discipline—two things I’ve always struggled with.
It’s not easy to stick to a strict diet when family and friends don’t fully support the plan. I know what I can and cannot eat, and I know what works for me. But too often, the people around me unintentionally make it harder. It’s tough when there’s leftover candy from every holiday lying around or when the main social activity is grabbing drinks.
This brings me to birthdays. Too often, people celebrate by doing what they think is special rather than focusing on what the person actually wants. But birthdays should be about the individual, right?
Take today, for example. I don’t need anyone making plans for me; I’m perfectly capable of deciding what I’d like to do. And what I want this year is simple: I want to go to the movies. It’s been years since I last sat in a theater, and the film Homestead just came out. So yes, I’m treating myself to a theater experience. No one has to worry about whether I’ll like it—I picked it, so of course I will!
This brings me back to respect and support. I’ve chosen to live a healthier lifestyle because I have to—it’s not optional for me. My diet is strict, but it’s necessary to keep my health from declining further. I’ve cut out sugars, alcohol, red meat, and cholesterol while limiting sodium, fats, and protein. That leaves me with a diet centered on fruits, vegetables, oatmeal, rice, and occasional chicken.
Because I can’t control how food is prepared at restaurants, I don’t dine out often. At home, I know exactly what goes into my meals and how they’re cooked, and that gives me peace of mind. This is the lifestyle I’ve chosen, not because it’s easy but because it’s essential for me to have a chance at a longer life.
What I really want for my birthday—and beyond—is for the people around me to respect my choices. Support isn’t about grand gestures or surprises; it’s about understanding and honoring how I’ve decided to live my life. After all, my decisions are about survival, and every bit of respect and support makes the journey easier.
Today, I’ll enjoy my birthday on my terms, knowing that I’m doing what’s best for me. That, more than anything, is worth celebrating.
What is it about people who just can’t enjoy life. I understand liking what you like and wanting what you want, but come on, you have to have some leeway! Today is Wednesday, it feels like a Monday and should be a Friday kind of day….
How do you take your tea or coffee? While at home, have it your way, but when visiting a restaurant slow down your pickiness! You ever wonder what it’s like in the shoes of a waiter or waitress mailing enough money to barely get by and support their family? All while your six figure salary and prick-ish attitude treats the general public like a peasant!
I don’t begrudge your education or hard work to get where you are, unless you got there by kissing ass and fucking over the next guy to better yourself. Then you can just fuck off! But if you earned your way to the top, stop and reflect on how you got there and how you once couldn’t afford a coffee or tank of gas!
We need more “pay it forward” people and less assholes who think everyone else is below them.
Treat the servers in your life better! After all we do control what you consume!
Hard Lessons & Honest Thoughts 