Expectation and Comparison: My Downfall

It took me a long time to get where I am in life. Along the way, I’ve worked in construction, painting, window installation, law enforcement, and several different positions in restaurants and bars. I’ve worn many hats, but no matter the job, I approached my work the same way, PREPARED, PROACTIVE, and ACCOUNTABLE.

How I Work….

I’ve always believed in showing up early, at least 30 minutes before my shift. Not just physically, but mentally. I walked in knowing what needed to be done, rarely needing a boss or supervisor to tell me.

As a police officer, my first task was reading reports from the previous shifts, understanding what happened overnight, and knowing where my attention was needed. By the time I was out on patrol, I had a plan.

In the restaurant world, it was no different. I’d check stock, ensure everything was ready for service, and take inventory of beer and liquor before the shift even started. That way, I knew exactly what I had, what I was short on, and how to adapt.

No one had to push me to do these things. I took initiative because I believed that’s how a job should be done. And one thing you would never catch me doing, was standing away playing on my phone. If you wanted to keep your job, you did your job.

The Letdown…..

And this is where my frustration begins, expectation and comparison.

I expect others to work the way I do. To show up early. To take charge of their responsibilities. To know the job they applied for. To be aware of the products they’re selling. To function as a team.

And time and time again, I am disappointed.

Very few people seem willing to take ownership of their work. They clock in at the last possible minute, do the bare minimum, and wait to be told what to do. I struggle with this because it goes against everything I believe in. I don’t understand how someone can walk into a job unprepared, unconcerned, and unwilling to improve.

I feel handcuffed in my own business because I don’t know how to fix these issues. I’ve read the books, listened to the experts. I know I’m a strong leader and a damn good business owner. But when it comes to management? That’s where I fail, because too many employees don’t listen or respect the standards I set.

The Bigger Problem…

Normally, when someone underperforms, you replace them. But what happens when no one else is applying?

That’s my reality. If I got rid of every negative, unmotivated, or underperforming employee, I wouldn’t have enough staff to run the business. I’m stuck choosing between keeping subpar workers or being too short-staffed to function.

The Questions I Can’t Answer…

So how do you build a business with employees who actually care? How do you find people who want to show up and put in the work? More importantly, how do I stop comparing myself to others and expecting them to operate at my level?

I don’t have the answers. Maybe I never will. But unless I make some drastic changes, either in my expectations or in my life, I’ll stay caught in this cycle of frustration, disappointment, and the constant feeling of being stuck.

Teaching Leadership in an Age of Entitlement

Can the entitled be taught leadership?

Leadership is more than just a title, it’s a mindset of responsibility, service, and resilience. But what happens when you’re trying to teach leadership in an environment where entitlement runs rampant? How do you inspire accountability and a strong work ethic when people believe they should be given leadership rather than earn it?

The key is to shift the culture from expecting rewards to embracing responsibility. Here’s how you can do it:

Set Clear Expectations

Leadership isn’t about privilege; it’s about responsibility. From the start, make it clear that leadership is earned through effort, integrity, and commitment. Outline the qualities you expect in a leader: hard work, problem-solving, and the ability to handle challenges. When people understand that leadership is a responsibility, not a right, entitlement starts to fade.

Lead by Example

The most effective way to teach leadership is to model it yourself. Show up early, put in the work, and demonstrate accountability. When people see you leading with integrity and grit, it becomes harder for entitlement to thrive. Leadership is caught more than it is taught.

Let Consequences Teach the Lesson

People who feel entitled often expect someone else to fix their mistakes. Don’t do it for them. Allow them to experience the natural consequences of their choices, both good and bad. If they fail to meet expectations, let them own the results. Failure is one of the best teachers, and real world lessons will stick far better than lectures.

Foster Accountability

Entitlement thrives in environments where there are no consequences. Set up systems where people are held accountable for their actions and commitments. Encourage peer accountability, where they support and challenge each other to step up. Leadership isn’t about making excuses it’s about taking ownership. One more time for the people in the back.

Leadership isn’t about making excuses it’s about taking ownership.

Shift the Mindset to Growth

Entitlement says, “I deserve.” Leadership says, “I will earn.” Encourage a growth mindset where effort, resilience, and continuous learning are valued over status or seniority. Teach that setbacks are stepping stones and that true leadership is about evolving, not expecting special treatment.

(Every job I’ve ever had, leadership was based on “I deserve” and demonstrated complete failure!”

Promote Servant Leadership

One of the best ways to break entitlement is to emphasize servant leadership, the idea that great leaders serve their teams, not the other way around. Encourage mentorship, community involvement, and acts of service. When people see leadership as a way to help others rather than gain power, entitlement loses its grip.

Reward Effort, Not Entitlement

Be intentional about recognizing and rewarding work ethic, determination, and initiative, not just participation. If people see that leadership opportunities go to those who genuinely contribute, they’ll be more likely to step up rather than expect handouts.

Entitlement is a tough challenge, but it can be overcome with the right approach. By setting clear expectations, modeling leadership, and reinforcing accountability, you can transform entitlement into initiative, effort, and responsibility.

True leadership isn’t about demanding a seat at the table, it’s about proving you belong there. And the best way to teach that lesson? Live it.

Things I’ll Never Understand

Watching the news this week, I saw extensive coverage of the California wildfires. Among the stories were several famous actors and musicians sharing their losses and asking for help. It made me wonder: unless there’s been major mismanagement of their funds, how does someone with their resources not have the means to rebuild?

Where’s the coverage for the countless regular, blue-collar people who’ve also lost everything?

I own a business, and back in 2017, we expanded with a $150,000 remodel. It wasn’t easy, but we made it work without going to other businesses or individuals to ask for donations. That’s why I struggle to understand when businesses seek monetary help for repairs, remodels, or upgrades.

The same goes for travel sports. My son played travel baseball for eight years. We traveled all over the East Coast, South, and Midwest, spending thousands of dollars on equipment, clothing, and hotels. It was a worthwhile investment that provided him with exposure and opportunities, but it wasn’t cheap. We made sacrifices to afford it, and while it wasn’t always easy, we never asked others for help.

I don’t understand the countless families who rely on donations or fundraisers to cover the costs of travel sports. If you can’t afford it, maybe it’s not the right fit. Unless there’s a significant issue like a health problem or an emergency, I struggle to see why asking for personal financial help is necessary.

For example, I need back surgery. Without insurance, the $90,000 price tag is completely out of reach for me. But instead of creating a GoFundMe or seeking donations, I’ve chosen to live with the pain and do the best I can. That’s just how I was raised, to find a way forward without burdening others, especially when I don’t know their struggles or financial situations.

Maybe it’s just me, hence the title, “Things I’ll Never Understand”, but I can’t imagine asking others for monetary help unless it’s an absolute necessity.

Work hard, buy what you need, and enjoy the occasional splurge when you can. Ask for help only when it’s truly needed. Otherwise, live within your means and make it work.

This post reflects my personal opinions and experiences. I understand that everyone’s circumstances are different, and I don’t intend to judge or criticize those who choose to seek help in ways that work for them. My perspective is shaped by my values and upbringing, and I respect that others may approach these situations differently.

Concealed Carry & Handgun Common Sense

At my business, we proudly support the right to bear arms. The sign on our front door reads: “Lawful Concealed Carry Permitted on Premises.” However, as Uncle Ben famously advised Peter Parker in Spider-Man: “With great power comes great responsibility.”

Concealed carry is a right, but it also carries a tremendous responsibility. Here are some key points to remember:

1. Concealed Means Concealed

The term “concealed carry” says it all: no one should know you are armed. Flashing or brandishing your firearm in public not only undermines this principle but can create unnecessary fear or escalate situations. A concealed weapon is not for show—it’s for protection in dire situations only.

2. When (and When Not) to Draw Your Weapon

Drawing a weapon is a serious, last-resort decision, not a tool for bravado or intimidation. Firing into the air or ground, for any reason, is reckless and shows a lack of discipline. If you’re using a firearm to “show off,” you shouldn’t be carrying one in the first place.

3. Alcohol and Firearms Don’t Mix

Carrying a firearm into a bar while drinking is irresponsible and dangerous. Alcohol impairs judgment, and bad decisions with a gun can lead to life-altering consequences.

If you plan to drink, leave your firearm locked securely in your car—or better yet, at home. The consequences of mixing guns and alcohol could include losing your permit, facing legal charges, or worse, causing unnecessary harm.

4. Concealed Carry Classes: More Than a Formality

Unfortunately, many concealed carry classes seem to prioritize profits over education. Instructors should be asking critical questions like:

• How do you plan to carry your firearm?

• Where do you plan to carry it?

Students, especially women need practical advice on holsters and carrying methods. Carrying a firearm in a purse, for example, is a mistake. If someone snatches your purse, they now have both your belongings and your weapon. Invest in a reliable holster, practice wearing it, and learn how to draw safely.

5. The 21-Foot Rule & Practical Training

Understand the 21-foot rule: if an attacker is within 21 feet, you may not have time to draw your weapon. This underscores the importance of learning basic self-defense techniques. A firearm is a tool, but it’s not your only tool—be prepared to protect yourself in multiple ways.

6. Vehicle Carrying Done Right

Leaving your firearm in a glove box, center console, or under your seat is not secure or accessible. If you carry for protection, your weapon should be on you, in a holster, and within reach—not left where it could be stolen or delayed in an emergency.

7. Firearm Safety is Non-Negotiable

The power of a firearm demands respect and responsibility:

• Always keep your finger off the trigger until ready to fire.

• Never point your weapon at anything you don’t intend to destroy.

• Practice regularly to ensure you can handle your weapon safely and confidently.

8. Drunk Decisions Are Deadly Decisions

Carrying a firearm is not a game, and it’s not a way to intimidate others. If you can’t handle your weapon responsibly, or if you bring it into situations where judgment may be impaired, you don’t deserve to carry one.

Final Thoughts

Carrying a firearm is a right, but it’s also a profound responsibility. Your actions can have life-altering consequences for yourself and others. Before you carry, ask yourself if you are truly prepared for the weight of this decision.

Be smart, be educated, be responsible. This is not just for your safety, it’s for everyone around you.

Medical Misfortune

A few years ago, I had an issue with my lower back. Seen a local doctor, I was then sent to physical therapy. During PT, I was put in traction. during this time, traction caused a slip. I laid there for several hours waiting for the disc to calm down. Once i was able to move, the doctor ordered an MRI. The MRI revealed two annular tears.

After returning to the doctor, I was advised these tears would not heal and the disc will continue to slip. What I was then told was, I could do some therapy and core strength exercises to help strengthen the area to avoid any further disc slips.

I bought in and began a serious gym regimen to help strengthen my core. Seemingly all was ok! For two years, I was pain free and mobility was near perfect. Until it wasn’t! What came next was a series of mishaps and painful days that led to my inability to move.

The disc slips several times a week now. So back to see the doctor. This visit, in my mind, warrants a new plan, based on the frequency of slips now. New plan, according to the doctor, “learn to live with a bad back”

How inappropriate is that? After a few weeks of unhappiness and pain, a nurse friend suggested a different doctor. Prior to visiting the new doctor, I have a new symptom. Neurogenic bladder. Frequent disc slips and now bladder issues, I 100% assume we have enough problems to schedule something to fix me.

The new doctor requires a new MRI due to my current MRI being two years old. Unfortunately, this doctor can’t get an MRI scheduled in a decent time frame. This is when it was suggested to see if I could get an MRI scheduled quicker in my home town.

Off to see my primary physician. I explained the problem and the request to have a new MRI. My PCP, gave me an injection, prescribed some meds to help my discomfort and got an MRI scheduled faster than the new doctor.

After waiting a few weeks, I head in for my lumbar MRI. Waiting a few hours for results, I check the patient portal to see results for a thoracic MRI. WHAT TYE FUCK?? They didn’t even MRI the area of issue!

I called to primary doctor to advice the mistake and was told they’ll send these results to my specialist and see what he thinks.

I’ll tell you what he will think, why in the hell would you MRI a completely different area than the area of issue?

So, here I sit, in pain, with a completely wasted day of hospital BS all for absolutely nothing. Not to mention, how I need to have a new MRI scheduled and hopefully approved. But more importantly, is my insurance and myself responsible for paying for a wrong MRI??

Why is it so difficult for people to do things correctly?

Service Industry Woes

Where do I start? Ever since covid, the entire service industry took an giant hit! Workers did not go back, jobs were cut, some businesses did not survive. The businesses that did survive did so on bare minimum man power and or extremely hard work by a few workers to keep their heads above water.

Every business is short staffed. Go visit a restaurant, the help wanted signs are plastered everywhere. I own a restaurant and we are short staffed! The employees we have do a great job, but were are all spread a bit thin. My father, about to turn 75, is the back bone of this business, he works circles around everyone, including me! Without him, we would struggle to keep open. I am forced to cover shits and cook on the line. Literally no days off! It is very hard to manage and keep up with my own responsibilities all while having to be another employee of the business. This however, is not the reason for this post!

Businesses are short handed and I understand that as well as the next guy! My issue is with the companies who hire people that absolutely can not do their job. For starters, the food industry, has been a nightmare. Out of stock, no stock, or inability to make deliveries has been an ongoing issue ever since the covid outbreak. The food distributors have nothing on the beer distributors though.

The delivery drivers don’t even know what product their companies carry. It’s a constant argument with what kegs are supposed to be returned or not returned, and an even bigger issue with invoices and orders being fulfilled. A $1000 invoice for product ordered, the deliver driver will bring in $600 dollars of product and still charge for the entire order. Seriously, is it that hard to pay attention to what is going on? I can not be there 24/7. Plus, I have a job and many responsibilities to tend to, I can not nor want to do another companies job as well. I get it, we’re all struggling to find employees, but the ones you have, you need to do a better job training them. As an employee, you should want to learn as much as possible about your job. Possible raise or advancement could be a goal, or maybe this new generation of lazy people is the way we all have to start getting used to.

It’s tiring constantly having to do the math, check the invoices, explain what is and isn’t their product. Don’t take the job is you don’t want to be good at it.

Just the other day I brought a large amount of fives and ones from the restaurant to the bank. The teller rolled their eyes and very curtly said, they have to count all that! Why work at a bank if you don’t want to count money? Isn’t that the entire bases of bank tellers?

My advice to anyone out there holding down a job, DO BETTER! BE BETTER! This world is struggling and we don’t need more help making it worse. Sharpen up, learn as much as you can and get the job done….. If you’re going to be anything in live, BE EFFICIENT!!