Restaurant Ownership Regret: When Passion Turns to Pressure

Starting a restaurant was supposed to be the culmination of my love for cooking, a place where I could share my passion for food with others. I imagined myself in the kitchen, crafting each dish with care, infusing every meal with the flavors and techniques I’ve spent years perfecting. But reality has a way of reshaping dreams, and what I thought would be my culinary haven has become a source of regret.

Owning a restaurant is far different from what I envisioned. It’s not just about creating delicious food, it’s about running a business. (Which I am not very good at)

I quickly realized that the demands of ownership extend far beyond the kitchen. Managing staff, handling finances, dealing with suppliers, and ensuring customer satisfaction became my primary responsibilities. As these duties piled up, they gradually pushed me out of the kitchen.

The most difficult part has been relinquishing control over the cooking. I no longer have the time to prepare each dish myself, and I’ve had to rely on others to do the cooking. It’s a necessary delegation, but it comes with a heavy heart. I’ve found myself missing the connection I once had with the food I served, knowing each plate was a personal expression of my culinary vision.

Now, I watch as others handle the ingredients, season the dishes, and plate the meals. There’s a distance between my original intention and the final product. It’s hard not to feel that something essential has been lost in translation.

This regret isn’t about the people who work for me, they’re dedicated but not always consistent. It’s about the realization that owning a restaurant has taken me away from the very thing I love most.

Cooking used to be a creative outlet, a way to unwind and express myself. Now, it’s a source of stress, something I manage rather than immerse myself in.

I often wonder if I would feel differently had I chosen a different path, maybe a smaller, more intimate setting where I could remain the sole chef. Or perhaps a catering business, or a food truck, where I could focus on the food without the burden of running a full-scale operation. But hindsight is always clearer, and these are just musings now.

Regret is a powerful emotion, but it’s also a teacher. I’ve learned that passion doesn’t always align with business. My experience has given me a deeper understanding of what truly brings me joy in the kitchen. Moving forward, I’m trying to find ways to reconnect with that joy, whether it’s through smaller events, personal projects, or simply cooking at home.

This journey has taught me that dreams can evolve, and it’s okay to let go of one version of success to pursue another. The restaurant might not be everything I hoped for, but it’s also an opportunity to redefine my relationship with cooking. It’s a chance to rediscover why I fell in love with it in the first place.

But even in the midst of this regret, there’s a silver lining I can’t ignore. The restaurant has brought me into contact with incredible people. customers, staff, and fellow business owners who I might never have met otherwise. These connections have enriched my life in unexpected ways. The conversations, the shared stories, the sense of community that’s developed around the restaurant. These are the aspects of this journey that I will cherish for a lifetime.

Talkers Are Gonna Talk

By the time you are an adult, you should most likely already understand what type of person you are. There are two types of people in this world, well for the sake of this post, there are two types of people.

Talkers and Doers! Which are you? A talker or a doer? Most of you are talkers, and usually just pop off because you want to make yourself feel better or you want others around you to think highly of you. Here’s the truth, most of us see through your bullshit! You can only talk so much before the world realizes you are full of hot are and pointless words. Doers on the other hand, are people who not only talk about it but actually get out there and do it!

To quote an old friend of mine, “be about it, don’t talk about it”. I went on a trip one time, I talked about the trip for a weekend, then come Monday I was on a plane to Hawaii! Monday night my friend shot me a text message to meet up for happy hour and I let him know I was walking into my resort in Hawaii… That’s when he said, “you my friend are a doer, not a talker, enjoy the trip”

The point I’m trying to make, whether you want to travel, visit someone, help someone, move away, quit a job, start your own company, pick up a new hobby or start working out. No one gives a shit if you do or don’t, what people do care about is how often they have to hear you talk about the things you never do or never will do.

Do yourself and the rest of the people surrounding you a giant favor…. either Be About It, Or STOP Talking About It! Plain and simple. You will gain much more respect from your peers and co-workers if you actually do what you say your are going to do.

Like Aesops tale, “The Boy Who Cried Wolf” Eventually, everyone will stop listening to you and one day you may actually end up doing what you say and there will be no one there to appreciate, validate or join in with your adventures. The toughest part of being an adult is adulting…..

Education: A Necessity?

As summer comes to an end and my wife works up the courage and motivation to head back to the classroom, I also see the array of yellow school buses once again flooding the neighborhoods.

This is the time of year, when I can get outside and walk the dog without the hustle and bustle of kids running and playing. A time of year where the weather is changing and afternoon walks are cool and peaceful.

However, on today’s walk, I was startled by two neighborhood kids playing in the street.

My first thought, why aren’t you in school? My next action, text the wife for verification. As I presumed, all kids are back in the classroom.

Then, I pondered during my walk. How important is an education? Sure, the grade school aged kids do benefit from school, but these kids outside playing, getting into things, sometimes bad things, are learning much more about life than any kid in a classroom is learning.

Honestly, today, all a college degree gets most people is a large debt they can’t pay off. At my company, I’d take 10 street smart self educated workers over a career student every time!

After high school, get out and live. Travel, work odd jobs, take jobs you hate, you love and you just want to try. Find what inspires you, find what drives you. Then apply your life lessons to your daily routine.

Take myself for example. Ten years of catholic school. Church twice a day, until it was time for high school. Once a teenager and beginning to think for myself, I quickly realized what a waste of time that all was! I am not a catholic, I do not follow a religion and I don’t believe in the campfire story of a god.

After high school, I tried college. I failed college also! After trying out several state schools and universities. I came to the understanding that school wasn’t for me. This is when I packed up and headed south. This is where I found myself, and got my truest education offered. (this is also a time, if I knew then what I know now, I would have enlisted and made a career out of the military)

HINDSIGHT, Right???

I found myself in south Florida. Found a job at a glass window install company. Quickly learned the value of a dollar. Two years, up and down the Florida coast, I ended up back home for a short stint, then headed to South Carolina. Here is where I really got educated. Working two jobs in Myrtle Beach, I stayed until hurricane Emily hit land. Boarding up businesses and securing homes was surreal to me, and a job, that I look back on now and realize how it taught me value and respect and the importance of helping others. College students can’t get that in a classroom! The hurricane sent me back up north, where I stayed for a while. Construction, bar tending and pool maintenance jobs, until I ended up back down in South Carolina. Again working two jobs and finding the late night party scene I was taught another valuable lesson in life. Followed a path I believed was the best choice for me. So I hit the pavement running, applying to as many police department openings I could find until I was finally accepted and hired on as a police officer.

Now, in my fifties, I have my own business, I had a very good career as a police officer and I’ve seen the world and damn near the entire country. I received a degree in life, a masters in living and a PhD in understanding living.

What I don’t have is college debt! Actually, I have zero debt, and my paychecks go straight to me.

So, how important is an education? For me, I say you’ll be better off in life getting outside and living a life that will teach you how to make decisions, how to get out of a jam, how to recognize a situation; good or bad and how to understand who you truly are, without the influence of some right or left wing liberal educator who is more concerned with projecting their beliefs on you!

These two kids outside today and not in the classroom, I’ll take them in a few years over the graduates! These are the kids who know how to survive and how to live and understand hard work and are not so privileged that they won’t work.

Educate or don’t, just make sure you choose the correct path for you and not the path others choose for you!

Be Kind…

Write about a random act of kindness you’ve done for someone.

A little while back, I started a Facebook group for suicide awareness. One day I received a private message on the page. After some days of chatting, I realized this person was from Australia.

She was telling me all about her finance and how he was going through a rough time and she was worried.

Halfway around the world and I stayed with it instead of dismissing her. She found my page while browsing the internet and reached out.

Australia was a challenge, they are not the same as Europe and actually have their own suicide awareness and numbers to call or text. This was a little bit of a challenge to locate but after some searches I was able to find the correct info to pass on.

I was able to connect with them both on a conference call and we spoke for several days. Back and forth listening and giving advice when I could, he eventually agreed to reach out to professional counsel to help out.

A few weeks, then months had passed and I no longer heard from either of them. Then one day, I received another private message.

In this message, I was thanked and praised for all the help I offered and advice I gave. They also shared their wedding pictures with me and were very happy to be moving forward with their lives.

I could have easily ignored the message and dismissed the request for help. Instead I was there and made a difference in someone’s life.

Be kind to people, help when you can and never assume you know what’s going on in someone else’s life. Everyone has some type of stress or problems, if they reach out, be there!

Free Trip

If you won two free plane tickets, where would you go?

I imagine many are diving deep into their bucket travel list here.

For me, winning two free tickets to anywhere, I’d keep it simple! My favorite city to visit is Boston, and I’d take advantage of another trip back there!

Depending the time of year, I’d try and catch a Sox, Bruins or Celtics game. If the planets align correctly, I’d catch a Sox and Bruins game in the same day. Even a concert, there’s always something great happening in town!

I’d hit up some of my favorite restaurants and watering holes. Enjoy the sights and the culture of the city. Go during mid-June and visit Charlestown and take advantage of Bunker Hill Day.

Might even try and hit up somewhere I haven’t been to or seen yet. So for me, a free trip would definitely take me back to Boston! If you’ve never been there, I highly suggest you put it on your list of travel plans. You won’t be disappointed.

Visit in the spring or summer months and you can walk the entire city and see and feel everything at your own pace.

Enjoy the history and stories that come with a good visit to the town, then be sure to take advantage of some of the best dining you could imagine!

As for a night life, you have many options. For me however, I like to keep it simple. J.J. Donovan’s in Faneuil Hall has become my favorite spot for drinks. A cash only bar with some of the best bartenders in Boston, you will love it here. It’s a perfect mix of tourists and locals joining together for laughs music and a great pour!

Where will you go? Maybe I’ll see you in Boston!

Next Trip

What are your future travel plans?

Future travel plans consist of a December trip back to Boston. Other than that, we don’t really have anything planned.

We do, however, have several trips we’d love to plan.

A trip back to Italy would be on a bucket list along with a potential trip to Ireland. Some other trips I’d like to plan are:

– Vancouver – Alaska – Yellowstone National Park – Northern California Redwoods – Finish out our hockey arena trips (23 more to go)

Pending work and finding a pet sitter, all these trips may not ever happen, but they are on the list of trips we’d like to take.

Dogs, Always Dogs!

Dogs or cats?

I don’t mind cats, actually adopted a cat once back in the day. My girlfriend at the time wanted it, so it happened, and after the break up I still had a cat!

I also had a dog, and this dog didn’t like anything, anyone but this cat!

As a child I had an allergy to cats, but as an adult that allergy seems to have went away. Currently, I am on my fifth dog over the years, all German Shepherds. I’m not sure anyone who doesn’t have a GSD can understand the bond that is built between a German shepherd and their owner.

I don’t believe you can have that same friendship with a cat as you can with a dog. I’m not saying cats don’t bring immense happiness to their owners, I’m just saying, for me…. it’s always dogs!

Insurance Fraud

I’m not the first person to experience the troubles of terrible insurance and I’m sure I won’t be the last to endure this fraudulent requirement!

I recently had an injury to my lower back. Two tears, two herniated discs and some other problems needing addressed. I went to a local doctor, who didn’t want to order an MRI. Instead, he wanted me to learn how to stretch and live with a bad back. Unacceptable right?

I found a new doctor, this doctor seemed to have the answers and was willing to help. Well help he did not provide. MRI was scheduled and I get the results only to see they did the MRI of the wrong part of my body.

The search continues! Now, under the care of a surgeon in a neighboring state, one that is considered a top notch facility with the best doctors in the state!

We started over, injections, therapy, pain management, and finally, surgery scheduled.

Seven days until my surgery and the hospital calls to inform me the insurance company will not cover the surgery because it is out of state! If you’re with me this far you know that the in-state doctors have repeatedly failed me up to this point. Reason I am in a bigger city and new state!

It is complete bull shit that an insurance company will not approve a needed surgical procedure, a procedure that is needed to allow me to be able to stand, walk, get back to work and have a quality of life that is worth a shit!

Instead, the insurance company says I’ll have to pay $40,000 up front to have the surgery, insert fraud here!

I understand now how people become addicted to pills and turn into degenerate drug addicts. I am young and have a very active lifestyle, but the pain level and injury doesn’t allow me to have the life I want or deserve.

So where do we go from here? That is the $40,000 question….. you are forced to have insurance, then you are penalized for using the insurance and most of the time your insurance denies your treatment…. so again, why are we paying for something that is so useless?

If you put it rationally, you wouldn’t pay for a household item you have no use for, so why pay for fraudulent insurance???

Evolution of the Employee

You ever wonder about evolution? I do quite often. Thinking about our human species, I take a deep dive into how well adapted we are at many different things. Then I consider the process of evolution and the theory of natural selection and how it all took a continuous ongoing process for the past 3.5 billion years! Holy cow, that is a long time to evolve into what and who we are.

Then I take a look at all the various jobs and employees out there doing these jobs. As an employer, we don’t have 3.5 billion years for employees to evolve. So, you’ve been at your current job for 10 years now. You do your job the way you believe your job is supposed to be done. However, you do some things wrong and or badly. I’m sure there are supervisors and bosses out there who train, teach and correct when possible, but what about just plain old evolution? Have you ever watched someone else do a task and think, that seems easier and more efficient!

For me, working in the food and beverage industry for many years now, I have been taught and learned a lot over the years, but one of my best attributes is my evolution into the job. I have learned, mostly from mistakes, how to do things better, more efficiently and effectively. Today, as a boss, I have taken on a new pet peeve and it all stems from watching employees do tasks, especially tasks that get addressed, and tasks that have been discussed and tasks that have been taught and demonstrated. Where’s the evolution? In todays society, we are in a serious pickle. Lets say, evolution of the employee will take somewhere around 20 years. Most people working in the food and beverage industry won’t be at the same job in 20 years. This, leaving businesses with a new work crew every so often. In this theory, we are fighting against evolution and we as a society are devolving.

If evolution continues to occur and species adapt to environments and new spcies emerge over time, can we assume employees will adapt and learn or is the work world devolving as the occupants of the planet are evolving? If our human race is growing towards bigger and better, it is moving farther from the ability of work bigger and better. Until Next Time, Happy Reading!!

An example of a devolving work force

To Podcast or Not

Lately I’ve been thinking about a podcast. Who am I though? Would people really care to listen to me talk? I mean, most don’t even want to read what I have to say! I have a lot to say. Or at least I think I have a lot to say.

Real problems, from my point of view… business ownership, from worker issues to the daily idiotic choices people make.

Maybe a little biased, but I’d listen to me! Where to start, how to start, why start? First off, too many people have thin skin and over sensitive feelings! Get the fuck over yourself! That’s one thing wrong with this country, to many people are way to sensitive and have no sense of humor!

I just saw where California removed all the U-Turn signs because they offended the LGBTQ community! If this doesn’t make you laugh and irritate you, then you’re an idiot too! Apparently, traffic safety is less important than the gay community’s feelings!

You all remember growing up, and throwing tantrums until you cried yourself to sleep all because your parents told you no? Well this is what our society needs again, to be told No!

Typing is fun, but how much more fun would my podcast be?