What the Actual Fuck Are We Insuring?

Can we talk about insurance for a minute?

Health insurance.
Vehicle insurance.
Homeowners insurance.

I know I’ve kicked this rock several times over the years, but I just cannot make any of this shit make sense. We are told insurance is necessary. In some cases, it’s legally required. We pay for it month after month, year after year, decade after decade. And when you actually need it? Well… that’s when the fun begins. You file a claim, and suddenly your rates go up. Maybe they decide you’re too expensive to insure. Maybe they drop you altogether. Maybe they find some tiny little exclusion buried somewhere in the policy that basically says, “Yeah, technically this isn’t covered.” So what exactly the hell have we been paying for?

Let’s talk about your house.

You buy homeowners insurance because, obviously, your home is probably the single largest investment you’ll ever make. You live on top of a hill. Flood insurance? Not exactly at the top of your priority list. Why would it be? You’re on a damn hill. Then something happens that nobody anticipated. Over the years, somebody alters drainage. Someone fills in an area that was never supposed to be filled. A drainage ditch disappears. A sewer or stormwater pipe gets blocked, clogged or overwhelmed. Then Mother Nature decides she’s had enough and dumps several days of absolutely biblical rain on the area. Water comes rushing through. And then raw sewage backs up into your home. You call your insurance company. And they tell you: “Sorry. That’s not covered.” Wait. What the actual fuck?!

I insured my house. I didn’t insure it against only the disasters that were convenient for you to insure. And this is where insurance starts feeling less like protection and more like a monthly subscription to the possibility of protection.

Health insurance isn’t much better.

We pay enormous amounts of money for health insurance because we’re told we need it. Then you actually need it and suddenly there are deductibles. Copays. Coinsurance. Out-of-network charges. Out-of-network denials. Prior authorizations. Coverage limits. Denied procedures. Denied medications. And that wonderful little phrase: “That’s not medically necessary.”

Apparently the people who have never met you, never examined you and aren’t the ones living in your body get to decide what is medically necessary. You can have insurance and still be terrified to get sick. How the hell did we decide that was normal?

And don’t forget the car. You have to insure your vehicle.

You pay every month. You drive responsibly. Then some idiot runs into you. You weren’t at fault. You did everything right. You call your insurance company. And somewhere down the road, you discover your rates have increased anyway. Because apparently getting hit by someone else’s stupidity is now a subscription upgrade. And heaven forbid you actually use your insurance a few times. Suddenly you’re a “risk.” Funny how that works.

Here’s the part that really bothers me.

Insurance companies aren’t charities. They’re businesses. Their job is to make money. I understand that. But somewhere along the way, we’ve created a system where ordinary people are required to participate in these systems while the companies providing them have every financial incentive to minimize what they pay out. We pay them to assume risk. They make money by managing that risk. And when the risk actually shows up? Suddenly everybody starts looking for the exit. That’s the part I have trouble swallowing.

So here’s my crazy idea.

What if we stopped giving so much of our money to insurance companies in the first place? What if people could put that money into their own accounts? Your money. Your savings. Your emergency fund. Your house account. Your medical account. Your vehicle account. Instead of sending thousands of dollars every year to corporations whose primary obligation is to their shareholders, maybe people could build their own financial safety net. Now, before somebody screams, “But what happens when your house burns down?!” That’s where catastrophic insurance could make sense. Maybe insurance should actually be insurance. Cover the catastrophic stuff that could financially destroy you. Not every little thing. Not a system so complicated that you need a lawyer to figure out whether you’re covered. And maybe government could regulate the hell out of the industry without trying to design every aspect of our lives.

Because here’s another problem: We have politicians making decisions about industries they often know absolutely nothing about. Then corporations lobby those politicians. Money changes hands. Rules get written. Companies adapt. Consumers pay. And somehow we’re all supposed to pretend this is the best system humanity could possibly come up with. Come on. We’re capable of landing robots on Mars. We can probably figure out a better way to pay for a fucking doctor’s visit.

I’m not saying I have the perfect answer.

I don’t. Maybe completely eliminating insurance companies isn’t realistic. Maybe some things absolutely require risk pooling. Maybe catastrophic insurance is the answer. Maybe healthcare needs an entirely different model. Maybe we need a combination of personal savings, catastrophic coverage and government regulation. I don’t know. But I do know this:

Something is fundamentally wrong when people spend thousands upon thousands of dollars protecting themselves from financial disaster and can still be financially destroyed when disaster actually happens. That’s not security. That’s anxiety with a monthly premium. And somewhere along the way, we accepted this as normal. Maybe that’s the part we should be questioning. Because I’m getting pretty damn tired of being told: “Don’t worry. You’re insured.”

Only to discover that the thing I’m worried about is the one thing my insurance doesn’t cover. So yeah… I’m ready to kick this rock again.

What do you think? Would you rather keep paying insurance companies for the promise of protection, or would you rather put more of that money into your own pocket and be responsible for protecting yourself? Maybe I’m completely nuts. But right now? “You’re covered… except for that” isn’t exactly making me feel covered.

Figure It Out

I’m tired. I’m cranky.

And, quite honestly, I’m 100% fed up with people.

So if you’re already rolling your eyes, you can probably stop reading now. This is my place. My little corner of the internet where I get to release some frustrations, say what’s on my mind, and hopefully walk away from the keyboard feeling a little better.

Today, I need a vacation.

And before somebody says, “Didn’t you just take one?”… technically, yes.

But here’s the thing about vacations when you own a business:

Sometimes they’re not vacations.

We closed the restaurant for a week so my family and employees could take some time off and enjoy their vacations. Normally, that would be enough for me. I’d consider it a sacrifice worth making.

Except I didn’t actually take a vacation.

I spent the entire week doing manual labor, fixing things around the house, taking care of household projects and doing all the things that apparently don’t magically disappear just because the restaurant doors are locked.

So, congratulations, me. I took a vacation from the restaurant so I could work at home.

Outstanding. And did I mention I’m tired? Because I’m really fucking tired.

Running a business is hard. Not the Instagram version of owning a business. Not the “Be your own boss!” motivational-poster version.

The real version. The version where the customer-to-employee ratio seems completely backwards.

Customers show up expecting everything to run perfectly. Meanwhile, I’m covering shifts, doing jobs that aren’t mine, fixing things that shouldn’t need fixing, and picking up the slack when somebody either can’t do something or simply doesn’t do it.

And eventually, that catches up with you. Down two cooks, a server and our dishwasher walked out mid-shift! Yeah, I’m wearing many hats.

I’m pretty resourceful. I’m pretty self-sufficient. If something needs done, I generally figure it out.

But there’s a problem with always being the person who can figure it out:

Everybody eventually assumes you’ll figure it out.

And when you’re constantly being pulled in three different directions, eventually there isn’t enough of you left to go around.

Then there’s home.

I’ve got a dog who is sick and requires medication, food and attention throughout the day. I’m literally going home every two hours to take care of him.

So my day isn’t just restaurant owner.

It’s cook. Manager. Maintenance man. Problem solver. Tech Support. Employee. Home repair guy. Dog nurse. Husband. Dad.

And whatever the hell else needs to be done that day.

At some point, something has to give.

I’ve been here before. In the past, when the stress and frustration started getting too heavy, I’d just leave.

Hocking Hills.

Atlanta.

Boston.

Vegas.

The destination was never really the point.

Sometimes I needed mountains. Sometimes I needed a city. Sometimes I needed lights, noise and complete sensory overload. Sometimes I needed absolutely nothing.

I’d pick a place based on what I needed at that particular moment, get away from everything, clear my head and come back ready to deal with life again.

And right now? I’m at that point. I’m ready to close it all down and walk away for a little while.

Before anyone panics, no… I’m not talking about permanently walking away from everything.

I’m talking about stepping away long enough to remember what it feels like to be a human being instead of the person everybody calls when something needs fixed.

And yes, I know everyone is stressed. I know everyone has problems. I know everyone is tired.

I’m not claiming that my problems are somehow more important than anybody else’s.

But here’s the difference:

You get to go home. You get to take your vacation. You get to have your time away.

And then there’s the guy who is still thinking about how can I cook, serve, wash dishes and take care of my dog while everyone else is relaxing.

The guy wondering who’s going to show up tomorrow or who isn’t!

The guy answering the emails.

The guy doing all the maintenance.

The guy filling the empty position.

The guy making sure the doors stay open.

And eventually, that guy gets tired too. So maybe it’s time I take my own advice.

My mental health is more important to me than your feelings.

That’s not selfish. That’s survival.

So when I decide it’s time to go, I’m going. Don’t panic. Don’t worry. Don’t ask where. Don’t ask when I’ll be back.

My goal isn’t adventure this time.

It’s peace.

Quiet.

Seclusion.

No schedule.

No problems that belong to somebody else.

No phone calls.

No texts.

No “Hey, real quick…”

No “Can you just…”

No “We need you to…”

Nope.

For a little while, I’m unavailable. If something goes wrong?

Figure it out.

If somebody needs something?

Figure it out.

If there’s a problem that absolutely cannot wait?

Well…

You guessed it.

Figure it out.

I’ll be back when I’m ready.

Because sometimes the person who spends all their time holding everything together needs to put it all down for a minute.

And maybe that’s okay.

Actually… Fuck it. I know it’s okay.

I just need to remember that I don’t have to be everything for everybody, every damn day.

So yeah.

I’m tired.

I’m cranky.

I’m fed up.

And I’m going to disappear for a little while. I’ll see you when I see you.

Until then…

Figure it out.

Why Do Cognitive Biases Persist Even When We Know They Exist?

Why do cognitive biases persist across cultures even when people are aware of them, and what does this suggest about the evolutionary or adaptive origins of these systematic patterns of thought?

That’s a hell of a question.

And the more you think about it, the stranger the answer becomes.

We like to believe that human beings are rational creatures. We gather information, weigh the evidence, consider different possibilities, and then make reasonable decisions.

At least, that’s the story we tell ourselves.

But psychology has spent decades showing us that human thinking is filled with predictable shortcuts and distortions. We anchor on the first number we hear. We look for information that confirms what we already believe. We remember emotionally powerful events more easily than mundane ones. We overreact to threats. We see patterns where none exist.

And here’s the really interesting part:

We know we do this.

Knowing about cognitive bias doesn’t magically make us immune to it.

So why? Maybe the answer is that our brains weren’t designed to be perfectly rational.

They were designed to keep us alive.

The Brain Doesn’t Always Ask “What’s Most Likely?”

Imagine one of our ancestors walking through the woods and hearing something moving in the bushes. There are two possibilities. It’s nothing. Or it’s a predator. If you assume it’s a predator and you’re wrong, you might waste some energy, scare yourself half to death, and look like an idiot.

If you assume it’s nothing and you’re wrong, you might become lunch. Evolution has a pretty obvious preference between those two mistakes.

False alarms are cheap. Missing a predator can be catastrophic.

That kind of environment favors a brain that sometimes jumps to conclusions. And that may be the key to understanding cognitive bias. What we call a “bias” today may have originally been a useful strategy for dealing with uncertainty.

The Prepper in the Bushes

Now take that ancient survival instinct and put it into the modern world. Imagine someone watching the news and hearing repeated warnings about a catastrophic event.

Economic collapse.

A pandemic.

A war.

A cyberattack.

A natural disaster.

A food shortage.

Pick your apocalypse. Humanity has apparently become remarkably creative at inventing them. The person starts thinking: “What if they’re right?”

So they buy some extra food. Then some water. Maybe a generator. Then batteries. Then fuel. Then medical supplies. Then firearms. Then a year’s worth of canned goods. Pretty soon they’ve spent thousands of dollars preparing for an event that may be extremely unlikely to occur. Now here’s the important question:

Is that person irrational?

Not necessarily. Their brain is responding to a very old survival equation:

If the consequences of being unprepared are enormous, perhaps preparation is worth the cost.

That’s actually a reasonable argument. The problem appears when our brains become much better at imagining the consequences of a disaster than estimating the probability of it actually happening. Those are two very different calculations. And fear can make us confuse them.

Possibility Isn’t Probability

This might be one of the most important distinctions humans struggle with. Almost anything is possible. A plane could crash. A massive earthquake could happen. The economy could collapse. A war could break out. A pandemic could occur(again). A solar storm could disrupt infrastructure.

But possible doesn’t mean probable.

Our brains don’t always handle that distinction particularly well. If something is vivid, frightening, repeatedly discussed, and emotionally powerful, it can begin to feel more likely. This is closely related to what’s called the availability heuristic.

If examples are easy to recall, our brains can unconsciously treat them as more common or probable than they actually are. And modern media is incredibly good at making things available. A threat that once might have been discussed locally can now be delivered directly into millions of homes within minutes. The brain doesn’t necessarily experience that as: “I have now received another piece of information about a low-probability event.” It can experience it as:

“This keeps happening. This must be getting closer.”

And Then Something Really Interesting Happens

Fear doesn’t just change what we believe. It can change what we do. Someone sees reports about a possible shortage They stockpile supplies. Other people see empty shelves. They assume the shortage must be serious. They start stockpiling. More people do the same. The media reports that people are stockpiling. Everyone else sees that and thinks:

“Holy shit. People are preparing. Maybe they know something I don’t.” And the cycle continues.

Fear creates behavior. Behavior creates evidence. The evidence creates more fear.

Suddenly, the reaction itself can make the original threat appear more credible. This is one reason the modern information environment is so powerful. We’re no longer just reacting to events. We’re reacting to other people’s reactions to events.

The Brain Takes Shortcuts Because Thinking Is Expensive

Our brains are astonishingly powerful, but they’re not unlimited. We can’t carefully analyze every piece of information we encounter. Instead, the brain uses shortcuts. Psychologists call many of these heuristics: mental rules of thumb that allow us to make decisions quickly without calculating every possible outcome.

Most of the time, that’s incredibly useful. If you’ve eaten an unfamiliar berry and gotten violently sick, you don’t need to conduct a controlled scientific experiment the next time you see that berry. Your brain simply says: “Nope. That thing tried to kill me.”

Decision made. The problem is that a shortcut that worked beautifully in one environment can produce strange results in another. Our ancestors weren’t dealing with 24-hour news, social media algorithms, targeted advertising, political propaganda, or thousands of strangers arguing online. They were dealing with predators, hunger, weather, disease, injury, and rival groups. The brain evolved for one world. Then we built another one.

And Culture Didn’t Erase the Machinery

This is where the question gets even more fascinating. Human cultures can be radically different. Different languages. Different religions. Different customs. Different political systems. Different moral beliefs. Different ways of understanding the world. Yet many of the same cognitive tendencies appear across cultures. Humans tend to notice threats. We tend to look for patterns. We tend to favor members of our own group. We tend to seek information that confirms what we already believe. We tend to give greater weight to vivid and emotional events. We tend to create explanations when something unexpected happens. That suggests something important:

Culture may shape what we think, but biology may influence how we think.

The story changes. The storyteller may be remarkably similar.

So Why Doesn’t Awareness Fix the Problem?

Because knowing about a bias and experiencing a bias are two different things. You can know about confirmation bias and still search for information that supports your position. You can know about anchoring and still be influenced by the first number you hear. You can know that fear distorts risk perception and still feel afraid. You can understand that a particular threat is statistically unlikely and still lie awake thinking about it. That’s because much of cognition happens automatically and incredibly quickly. Your conscious mind can recognize the trap. But recognizing the trap doesn’t necessarily prevent your brain from stepping into it. It’s like knowing how an optical illusion works. You can understand exactly why the illusion happens.

Your eyes will still see it.

Maybe Irrationality Isn’t the Opposite of Intelligence

This is the part I find most interesting. We often treat cognitive biases as evidence that humans are irrational. But perhaps that’s not quite right. Maybe humans aren’t irrational. Maybe we’re rational within the environment our brains evolved to navigate. Consider fear. A person who occasionally mistakes a stick for a snake might experience unnecessary anxiety. But a person who never reacts to anything that looks like a snake isn’t likely to have a particularly successful evolutionary career. The same principle could apply to preparedness. If you spend a little money preparing for a realistic emergency and nothing happens, you’ve lost some money. If you fail to prepare for a disaster that actually happens, the consequences could be enormous. So evolution may have favored a tendency toward caution.

Better safe than sorry. The problem is that modern humans have discovered how to turn “better safe than sorry” into a full-time hobby. And sometimes a very expensive one.

Maybe the Real Problem Is the Environment

This is where the whole thing comes together. Our technology has changed dramatically. Our cognitive architecture hasn’t. We are walking around with brains shaped by problems that existed hundreds of thousands of years ago while trying to process an unprecedented volume of information. And now fear can be delivered directly into our pockets. Every hour. Every day. Everywhere. A headline doesn’t have to tell us: “This event has a 0.3% chance of occurring.”It only has to tell us:

“This could happen to you.”

And suddenly our ancient survival machinery wakes up. The brain starts asking: “What if?” What if they’re right? What if everyone else knows something I don’t? What if I’m the idiot who didn’t prepare? What if this is the one time the warning is real? And that last question is especially powerful. Because from an evolutionary perspective, the person who occasionally overreacts to a threat may survive. The person who consistently underreacts may not.

Maybe the Human Brain Isn’t a Truth Machine

Perhaps the human brain isn’t fundamentally a truth-seeking machine. Maybe it’s fundamentally a survival machine. Truth is useful. Understanding reality is useful. But perfect objectivity isn’t necessary. A rough approximation of reality that consistently produces good decisions may be more valuable than a completely accurate model that takes ten times as long to construct. Evolution doesn’t need us to understand the universe. It needs us to successfully navigate our little corner of it. And that may be why cognitive biases are so persistent. They aren’t necessarily glitches that evolution forgot to remove. Some may be the remnants of strategies that once worked remarkably well.

But There Is a Catch

The environment changed. Human beings went from small groups of hunter-gatherers to agricultural societies, cities, nations, industrial economies, and now a completely interconnected digital world. Our technology evolved exponentially. Our cognitive machinery did not. We’re essentially running ancient survival software on a modern operating system. And sometimes the software works beautifully. Sometimes it crashes spectacularly. The person who keeps extra food, water, batteries, and a generator because winter storms occasionally knock out the power? That’s preparation. The person who spends their life and their savings preparing for an extremely unlikely catastrophe because every headline has convinced them that the end is imminent? That may be something different. The interesting question isn’t where the line is.

The interesting question is why our brains have such difficulty seeing the line.

So What Does This Tell Us About Being Human?

Perhaps the persistence of cognitive biases across cultures tells us something profound. We aren’t blank slates. We’re products of both culture and biology. Our experiences teach us what to believe, but evolution may have given us a collection of mental tendencies that influence how we process those beliefs in the first place. And maybe the goal isn’t to eliminate cognitive bias. That may be impossible. Maybe the goal is to become aware enough of our own minds that we can recognize when the shortcut is helping us, and when it’s screwing us. Because the most dangerous person isn’t necessarily the person who has biases. We all do.

The dangerous person might be the one who believes they don’t. And perhaps that’s the strangest thing about consciousness:

The brain is capable of studying its own mistakes while simultaneously making them.

We can recognize the illusion and still see it. We can understand the bias and still feel it. We can know that we’re not perfectly rational and still spend our lives believing that our particular conclusions are the exception. Maybe that’s not a failure of humanity. Maybe it’s simply the price of being human. Our ancestors heard something moving in the bushes and had to decide whether to run. We hear something moving through the information stream and have to decide whether to believe it.

The bushes changed.

The predator changed.

The technology changed.

But the brain? Not nearly as much as we like to think. And maybe that’s why, thousands of years later, we’re still doing the same thing: Trying to survive a threat before we’re entirely sure the threat is real.

A New Dream: Bringing My Roots Back to the Table

My dream was always to open a restaurant.

That dream eventually became a reality right here in Weirton, West Virginia. I opened a sports bar, a place with more beer than you could possibly imagine, great food, cold drinks, sports on every television, and a whole lot of memories made along the way.

And I wouldn’t trade that journey for anything.

But as I’ve gotten older, and maybe a little more mature, I’ve found myself thinking differently about what I want to create next.

Dive bars are a dime a dozen around here. There are plenty of places to grab a beer, watch a game and order a burger or wings.

But great Italian food? That’s a different story.

There are a few really good Italian restaurants in the area, but most of them follow a pretty familiar formula. Lately, I’ve been asking myself:

What if I did something different?

For quite some time now, I’ve been compiling recipes, experimenting with dishes and playing around in the kitchen. And the more I do it, the more I find myself thinking about opening a small Italian restaurant right here in town.

There’s one restaurant that has always stuck with me.

Abruzzi’s in Pittsburgh, just off the 10th Street Bridge.

It wasn’t huge. It didn’t need to be.

It was small, quaint and packed with personality… but the food?

Holy hell, could that place cook.

People came from all over to squeeze into that little restaurant because they knew what was coming out of the kitchen was worth the trip.

That’s where I learned something that has stayed with me ever since:

You don’t need a giant dining room or a massive building to create something special.

You need great food. You need people who care. And you need a reason for people to come back.

For me, that reason starts with family.

I’m Italian by heritage, and food has always been a huge part of my family. The Basil’s, DeStefano’s and Marino’s families have all contributed recipes, techniques and traditions that have been passed down through generations.

I’ve been surrounded by good food my entire life.

My dad makes what I honestly believe is the best pasta sauce I’ve ever tasted. Yes, I’m biased.

But wait until you taste it.

My grandfather taught me how to make chicken cutlets, eggplant Parmesan and homemade bread. Those aren’t just recipes to me, they’re pieces of my family.

And then there are the desserts. Cakes. Pies. Homemade sweets.

At every holiday and nearly every family gathering, somebody in my family is making something that somehow disappears before the night is over.

That’s what I want to capture. Not just another Italian restaurant.

A family table.

A place where the food has a story behind it.

A place where the menu isn’t built because something is trendy, but because somebody’s grandmother, grandfather, father, mother, aunt or uncle knew how to make it the right way.

I’ve never felt more ready to take on something like this.

But here’s the reality: In order to make another dream come true, I need people.

Good people.

People who share the vision. People who want to build something instead of simply showing up for a paycheck. People who understand that a small restaurant can still make a giant impact.

Maybe that means I leave Basil’s Sports Bar exactly where it is and build a completely new team around this idea.

Maybe it means finding the right people to help me turn this crazy idea into something real.

I don’t know exactly where this road leads yet. But I’m pretty damn excited to find out.

For now, I’m going to keep cooking. Keep experimenting. Keep writing down recipes. Keep building ideas.

And below are some of the dishes I’ve been working on that I would love to see featured on the menu of a possible Italian restaurant someday.

Maybe this becomes a restaurant. Maybe it becomes something completely different.

But one thing I know for sure:

I’m having a hell of a lot of fun figuring it out.

Welcome to the beginning of another journey.

And this time…

I’m bringing my roots with me.

Radici dei Fratelli

Roasted Garlic, Peppers & Tomatoes
Roasted Pepper & Tomato Rosè with Fusillini
Rigatoni in a Pistachio and Pesto Sauce
Linguini and Shrimp Scampi
Chicken Cutlets
Homemade Meatballs

When Respect Became a Battlefield

You were born male or female. You were raised, hopefully with good values, and by your early twenties you became an independent adult.

Somewhere along the way, you’ve decided to identify with different pronouns and reject the gender you were born as. Yet the one thing that seems certain is the level of offense taken when someone respectfully says, “sir” or “ma’am.”

The people around you aren’t trying to insult you. They’re addressing you based on what they genuinely see. They’re not mind readers, and they’re not trying to make a political statement.

So give real life a try. When you’re out in public, be kind. Say hello. Smile. Treat people with the same respect you’d like to receive.

And remember this: “they/them” refers to more than one person. You’re one individual, standing in front of another human being. Sometimes a simple “hello” and a little grace go a lot further than taking offense over words that were never meant to hurt. Because no matter how you feel you should be addressed, the mirror in front will never lie… you are a girl or a boy.

Marland Heights… What Happened to You?

Take me back to the 1970s and early ’80s.

I was just a kid in grade school. Both of my parents worked, so there were plenty of afternoons when I’d go home with friends who lived on Marland Heights until Mom and Dad got off work.

Back then, Marland Heights wasn’t just another neighborhood. It was the neighborhood.

Kids ran all over the hill until the streetlights came on. The neighborhood pool was packed every summer day with families from all over the valley. Basketball courts stayed busy for hours with pickup games that nobody wanted to leave. The country club golf course was pristine, and tucked away was one of my favorite places, the Marl Inn.

The Marl Inn had the best of both worlds: fantastic food and a bar where the stools were filled every afternoon with neighbors laughing, catching up, solving the world’s problems over a cold drink, and actually knowing one another.

Marland Heights felt like a community.

It felt like home.

Fast forward to 2026. The pool has been since torn down and the basketball courts are empty, filled with only memories.

I’ve lived on Marland Heights for nearly thirteen years now. Within the first two months of moving here, our house was broken into… not once, but twice!

The first time, someone busted out a rear window, climbed over the kitchen countertop, and came inside.

The second time, they tried prying open our storm door, causing enough damage that we had to replace the entire door and frame.

That wasn’t exactly the welcome-to-the-neighborhood package I was expecting.

Since then, I’ve watched this hill slowly change.

Beautiful homes have become abandoned. Others have become revolving-door rentals where it seems anyone with a pulse gets handed the keys. The meticulously landscaped yards that once reflected pride have given way to waist-high weeds. Sidewalks are buckling. Roads continue to sink. Homes sit empty while the weather slowly tears them apart.

Across the street from me sits a house that has been abandoned for over a year.

It sat through an entire winter and spring with multiple upstairs windows standing wide open, inviting rain, snow, wind, animals, and whatever else Mother Nature wanted to throw inside.

Those windows are still open.

The massive front picture window has a crack running from top to bottom, just waiting for the day it finally gives up.

Missing shingles. A deteriorating exterior.

An eyesore for everyone who still takes pride in living here.

Then came July 30, 2026.

Several neighbors watched a woman walk around the property, peering through windows before eventually making entry through the front door.

She appeared to be homeless and likely looking for shelter.

Thankfully, neighbors weren’t willing to ignore it. They checked things out, called the police, and officers responded before the situation became something worse.

Hopefully, it stays that way. Because the last thing this neighborhood needs is another abandoned house becoming a squatter’s paradise.

People often say, “If you don’t like it, just move.”

If only it were that simple.

The housing market isn’t exactly friendly these days. Selling isn’t the difficult part. Finding another home that’s affordable and meets our needs is.

But I’ll be honest… With everything happening on this hill, we can’t move off Marland Heights fast enough.

That sentence hurts to write.

Because this was once a neighborhood families dreamed about living in. People came here looking for a community.

Today, it feels like the community is slowly disappearing.

The people who cared are getting fewer. The houses that once made this neighborhood beautiful continue to decline. Complaints seem to disappear into a black hole. Some landlords gladly collect rent, mostly HUD-funded rent, while allowing properties to deteriorate year after year with little consequence.

And that’s the most frustrating part.

The attitude has become, “It’s not in my neighborhood, so it doesn’t affect me.”

Well… It is in my neighborhood.

It does affect me. It affects my family. It affects my property’s value. It affects every neighbor who still mows their grass, plants flowers, fixes their homes, and refuses to stop caring.

Marland Heights deserves better. The people who still call it home deserve better.

Maybe the neighborhood can never be exactly what it was in the 1980’s

But that doesn’t mean we should simply accept watching it fall apart.

Communities don’t die overnight. They disappear one neglected house… One ignored complaint… One abandoned property…

And one person deciding, “It’s not my problem.”

Eventually…It becomes everyone’s problem!

Children in the Wild

Before anyone grabs their pitchforks and labels me “anti-child,” hear me out.

I completely understand why we have children. It’s literally how the human race survives. We carry on family names, continue bloodlines, build future generations, and hopefully leave the world in capable hands.

I get it. But… Good Lord, do children annoy the hell out of me.

Actually, let me correct that. It’s usually not the children.

It’s the adults.

Kids are exactly what they’re supposed to be. They’re learning every second of every day. They have no filters. They ask embarrassing questions. They cry because their chicken nuggets touched the ketchup. They laugh at absolutely nothing. They melt down because the blue cup wasn’t the blue enough blue cup.

They’re kids. The problem starts when the adults seem to think the rest of us signed up to participate in the experience.

We’ve all been there.

You’re sitting in a restaurant trying to enjoy dinner and a conversation, and a child is doing laps around the tables like they’re training for the Olympics. Someone is screaming at a volume usually reserved for tornado sirens. A grocery store aisle becomes a playground. Parents stare at their phones while everyone else silently wonders if this is a social experiment.

Here’s my question… Why?

If you choose to have children, that’s your decision. If you choose not to have children, that’s your decision. If you’ve already raised yours and survived those years, congratulations, you’ve earned your medal.

So why is everyone expected to tolerate someone else’s lack of parenting?

Notice I didn’t say “someone else’s children.”

I said “someone else’s lack of parenting.” There’s a massive difference.

Children need to experience restaurants, grocery stores, airports, and public places. That’s how they learn to become functioning adults.

But learning requires teaching not ignoring.

Sometimes teaching means saying no.

Sometimes teaching means taking them outside until they calm down.

Sometimes teaching means leaving altogether because today just isn’t the day.

That isn’t punishment. That’s parenting.

I don’t expect children to sit perfectly still and speak in whispers. That’s fantasy.

I expect adults to recognize when their child’s behavior has crossed the line from “kids being kids” into “everyone else is now part of this family outing whether they wanted to be or not.”

Public spaces belong to everyone.

Families. Couples. Older adults. People without children. People who just finished a twelve-hour shift and want one peaceful meal. Everyone.

Respect shouldn’t disappear the moment someone becomes a parent.

Maybe that’s the real issue. We’ve somehow convinced ourselves that asking parents to… well… parent… is offensive.

It isn’t. It’s respectful. Respectful to your child. Respectful to the people around you. And respectful to the idea that sharing public spaces means remembering they belong to all of us, not just the loudest person in the room.

Now, before the comments explode…

I’m not saying children shouldn’t be allowed in public.

I’m saying adults should.

What’s your take? Am I completely off base, or has “kids will be kids” become an excuse for “parents don’t have to parent?”

When Technology Becomes the Problem It Was Supposed to Solve

I don’t hate technology, but I surely don’t love it either. There, I said it. Technology has changed the world. It has made communication easier, businesses more efficient, and life more convenient. But somewhere along the way, technology companies forgot one important thing:

If it isn’t broken, maybe stop fixing it.

My Harley-Davidson Street Glide is a perfect example. The bike came with Apple CarPlay. Plug in the phone, hit the road, enjoy music, navigation, and everything that makes riding better. Simple. It worked. Until I upgraded my Apple Iphone. Apple thought it was a good idea to change the chargers from USB-A to USB-C… And suddenly, the thing that worked perfectly became a troubleshooting project.

Now I’m standing in my garage with a brand-new phone, multiple USB cables, settings menus, software versions, and a motorcycle that apparently needs a technology translator just to talk to my phone. The funny part? My wife’s older phone plugs in and works immediately. My newer phone, the one that is supposed to be smarter, faster, and better, looks at my Harley like they are speaking two completely different languages.

And this isn’t just about motorcycles. It’s everywhere. A refrigerator that needs Wi-Fi. A thermostat that needs an app. A vehicle that requires a subscription to unlock features it already has installed. Prime example, the radio in my 2025 Jeep won’t work with the IPhone WiFi turned off… not Bluetooth! WiFi to make a car radio work properly!! Insert dumb idea right here!

We’ve reached a point where sometimes the “upgrade” creates a problem we never had before. Technology companies are in a never-ending race to be better, faster, smarter, and more connected. But maybe they need to remember something:

Better doesn’t have to mean more complicated. Sometimes better is simply something that works every time. Give me reliability over another feature I didn’t ask for. Give me something I can turn on, use, and enjoy without needing a computer science degree. Give me a radio in an eighty thousand dollar vehicle that works because you have an eighty thousand dollar car!

Because at the end of the day, I don’t want to spend my Sunday afternoon negotiating with a motorcycle, a phone, and a USB cable like I’m brokering a peace treaty between three stubborn countries. I just want to ride and hear my music.

And maybe that’s the biggest upgrade we actually need: Technology that remembers its job is to make our lives easier.

Friend or Spectator?

I’m not exactly sure why Facebook was created. I suppose I could look it up, but I always assumed the idea was pretty simple: connect people. Keep in touch with family. Share life’s moments. Stay connected with friends.

Somewhere along the way, though, social media changed.

Now everyone wants to send a friend request or click “Follow.” The question is… why?

Is it because we’re genuinely interested in staying connected? Or have we become digital spectators, quietly watching everyone else’s lives unfold from the sidelines?

Let’s be honest, we’ve become a society that overshares. Vacations, dinners, political opinions, pets, workouts, birthdays, random Tuesday thoughts… it’s all out there. But if you’re going to be part of someone’s online world, shouldn’t you actually participate in it?

Every year, sometimes twice a year, I clean house on my social media. I scroll through my friends list and ask myself a simple question:

Why are you here?

You never like a post.
You never comment.
You never share anything.
You never start a conversation.

So… what’s the point?

Are you just keeping tabs on me? Watching from the shadows? Waiting for something interesting to happen?

Trust me, I’m really not that fascinating.

To me, social media was never supposed to be a one-way mirror. It was supposed to be social. That word actually means something.

Interaction. Conversation. Connection.

If you’re going to be part of my online world, then be part of it. Say hello. Leave a comment. Disagree with me. Laugh at one of my terrible posts. Tell me about your day.

Do something.

Otherwise, you’re not really participating… you’re just observing.

And here’s the funny part. If you truly want to keep in touch with someone, Facebook probably isn’t even the best way to do it.

Send a text. Pick up the phone. Meet for coffee.

Actually have a conversation.

I wrote another blog a while back about how we’ve forgotten how to communicate. Social media gave us thousands of “friends,” yet somehow we talk to fewer people than ever before.

Maybe it’s time we stopped collecting friends like baseball cards and started investing in actual relationships.

Because in the end, Facebook doesn’t make people social.

People do.

Why I Hate Technology

Before everyone starts telling me how technology has made life easier, hear me out.

I’m trying to enclose my back deck, so I jumped on Lowe’s website to order the materials. Everything seemed simple enough. I selected delivery, and the website proudly announced that if I completed my order before 2:00 PM, I qualified for same-day delivery.

Perfect.

I placed the order around 12:30 PM.

A few minutes later, the confirmation email arrived… and that’s when the fun began.

The shipping address was wrong.

Not my fault, either. My billing address and shipping address in my account are both correct. Somehow, Lowe’s system decided to take my correct street address and randomly attach the wrong city and state to it.

No big deal, right? Surely I can edit it online.

Nope.

After several failed attempts, I called the store. After fighting my way through the automated prompts, I finally reached someone in shipping. I explained the issue, and she assured me it would be corrected.

An hour later, I checked the tracking. Still wrong.

So I tried the online chat. No luck.

At this point, I called again.

This time I spoke slowly. I spelled everything. I repeated every detail. The representative read the address back to me perfectly.

Success… or so I thought.

A few minutes later I checked again.

Wrong. Again.

By now it’s pushing 6:00 PM, and the same-day delivery I was promised has come and gone. I have no idea if my order will show up, get delivered to the wrong place, or be canceled altogether. Only thing I do know, I was 100% charges for the delivery and materials.

And that’s when it hit me. This isn’t really about my lumber.

It’s about what we’ve become.

This is a Lowe’s store in my own town. The delivery drivers know these streets. They know the neighborhoods. They know where they’re going.

So why can’t someone simply load the truck, pick up the phone, call me, and say, “Hey Pete, just confirming your address before we head your way.”

Problem solved.

Instead, everyone is trapped inside a computer system that refuses to cooperate. The employees can’t override it. The website can’t fix it. The chat can’t understand it. The technology that was supposed to make everything easier has become the very thing preventing a simple solution.

We’ve become so dependent on technology that when it fails, people don’t know how to work around it anymore. And this is how stores waste money! Employees standing around doing nothing when technology fails the consumer.

Common sense has been replaced with computer prompts. Real conversations have been replaced with automated menus.

Problem-solving has been replaced with, “I’m sorry, the system won’t let me.”

Here’s the ironic part: the people I spoke with were trying to help. They weren’t the problem.

The problem was that the technology had all the control.

We’ve reached a point where good employees are made to look incompetent because they’re handcuffed by software. Great customer service gets buried under layers of automation. And when the computer makes a mistake, everyone just waits for the computer to fix… the mistake the computer created.

Technology is an incredible tool. But it’s a terrible boss. When computers replace common sense instead of supporting it, everybody loses.

So here I sit, waiting to see if my order ever arrives, wondering if somewhere inside a server there’s a computer convinced my house magically moved to another state.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll get my lumber.

Or maybe I’ll just get another email telling me everything is “on schedule.”

Because apparently that’s what progress looks like. Like running my own business, I often wonder if that one employee will step up and take care of all the problems!